Beaumont: Hey Lady. Know what time it is?
Beaumont: Breakfast time!
Me: I can’t get up.
Beau: Why not?
Me: You’re lying on top of me.
Beau: That’s to wake you up.
Me: All right already. I’m awake.
Beau: Then, where’s my breakfast?
Me: If you get off of me I’ll get it for you.
Beau: You know, I shouldn’t have to lie on top of you to make you get up. You should care enough to want to get up in the morning to get me my breakfast.
Me: Believe me. I do. It’s just I’m a wee bit tired after last night.
Beau: Right. ‘Cause you had that big dinner party and poor little you… Had a wee bit too much to drink?
Me: No! It’s just I was on my feet all day and then didn’t get to bed until too late.
Beau: Enough with your excuses. Are you going to get up and get me breakfast?
Me: If you get off of me I will.
Beau: Will you quit making excuses and just do it?
Me: Yes, Beau. I will.
Beau: I’d like my eggs easy over please.
Me: You don’t get eggs for breakfast.
Beau: You mean like I didn’t get any Beef Wellington last night for dinner?
Me: You’re a dog Beau. You don’t eat human food.
Beau: Who makes my food?
Me: It comes from a factory.
Beau: And who works in the factory?
Me: (slowly…) People…
Beau: And so, once again, I prove how wrong you are. If people make my food then I eat human food. So be a good girl and go make me some eggs and bacon.
Sigh. To be clear. I do not feed Beau eggs and bacon but dawggone it, I sure would like to win an argument with him one day… Sigh. A girl can dream….
In the meantime, gotta go make him breakfast.