Beaumont: So… let me get this straight. You’re off to the coast again for two weeks. Without me.
Me: That would be right.
Beau: And you think that’s ok?
Me: I’m not sure it’s about ok or not ok Beau. It’s all about my grandchildren and my seeing them.
Beau: And what about me?
Me: What about you?
Beau: I’m your youngest child. I need you.
Me: Beau. You’ll be here with your dad. You’ll be able to watch hockey and eat cookies on the couch and I won’t be nagging you about crumbs and your dirty paws on the furniture.
Beau: I’m not sure why that’s an asset. I don’t listen to you when you do anyway.
Me: Right. Well, at least I’ll be saving my breath.
Beau: You could save wear and tear on your aging body by not having to drive out to the coast and spend two weeks with the rugrats.
Me: Beau. Don’t be petulant. They’re beautiful little people who make my heart happy. I want to do this. And anyway, are you calling me old?
Beau: In dawg years you’re absolutely ancient.
Me: Beau. Be nice.
Beau: I would be if you weren’t being so unnice as to leave me again. For two whole weeks.
Me: I’ll be back before you know it.
Beau: Yah? Well, how long is two weeks in dawg years anyway?
Me: Ummm…. I don’t know. Math’s not my thing.
Beau: And that’s my point. You have no concept of how two weeks is like a lifetime to a dawg.
Me: Now you’re exaggerating.
Beau: Now you’re being dismissive.
Me: Can we agree to disagree?
Beau: In a word… No.
Me: (sigh) Anything I can do to make it up to you?
Beau: Not go.
Me: Not happening.
Beau: Then… in a word… No.
Me: What if I bring you back a really good treat?
Beau: You think you can bribe me? Think again lady. I think I’ll just sit here and sulk and maybe, when you get back, I’ll keep sulking and give you my famous ole’ cold shoulder for awhile.
Me: How long’s awhile?
Beau: In dawg years? Lady, it’s a good thing you don’t do math. You couldn’t count that high!
Oh dear. I’m off to visit my daughter and her family for a couple of weeks again and Beau is not pleased.
Dang. I even arranged for him to go stay with his Uncle Al and Auntie Jane next weekend while C.C. is in a three day golf tournament.
Sigh. I think I’ll leave that up to C.C. to tell him. Best he not know it was my idea!