Who? Me?

Me: Beaumont? Did you just do something to put yourself on Santa’s naughty list?

Beau: Who? Me? No. Never.

Me: What’s that between your paws?

Beau: What? This ole’ thing? I found it…

Me: Found it?

Beau: Yup. It was just lying there. Discarded. On the floor…

Me: You mean under the Christmas tree.

Beau: Well, that’s on the floor. Right?

Me: Not quite. It means it was sitting under the Christmas tree. As a decoration.

Beau: (sniffing the white bear stuffy between his paws and giving it a chew) Nope. It’s definitely a dawg toy. And I definitely found it on the floor.

Me: Under the tree.

Beau: Under the tree. Under the sofa. No matter. Whatever’s on the floor is on my turf.

Me: Seriously? Whatever’s on the floor?

Beau: Who spends all their time lying on the floor?

Me: I think you need to be a bit more specific than ‘all’ your time Beau. You do tend to lie on ‘all’ the furniture too.

Beau: Now look who’s not being specific enough. I don’t lie on the tabletop or the counters now do I?

Me: Of course not.

Beau: Right. So can we agree tabletops and counters are your turf. Floor is mine.

Me: Beau. What is all this talk about turf? We share the floor.

Beau: When did you last lie on the floor Louise and have a good ole’ nap?

Me: Now you’re being too specific. Whether I have ever napped on the floor or not is irrelevant. I want to talk about where you found that stuffy.

Beau: What’s there to talk about. If where you nap or don’t nap is irrelevant so is the location of where I found this stuffy.

Me: Whhhhaaaat? You lost me.

Beau: Well that was waaay too easy.

Me: Beau. Be nice.

Beau: Why? You already told me I’m on the naughty list.

Me: Yes. But….

Beau: Keep your but out of it Louise. Unless of course you wanna get your butt down here on the floor with me and my new buddy… stuffy bear. (and he smiles sweetly and goes on with chewing the bear)

Sigh. And that is how the little white bear who usually sits under the Christmas tree found its way into Beau’s paws and became one of his Christmas gifts.