The Zen Master and The Dawg

Beaumont: Louise! Louise!…. you dead?

Me: No Beau. I’m in Savasana pose.

Beau: You look it.

Me: What’s that supposed to mean?

Beau: It ain’t called ‘the corpse pose’ for nothing Louise

Me: Oh wow. You know that?

Beau: You know Yoga was invented by dogs. Right?

Me: Ummm…. really?

Beau: Yup. Yog. Dog. We added the ‘a’ as a nod to the fact that dawgs were the original Yodas of the world.

Me: Oh. (sarcastically) I didn’t know that.

Beau: (ignoring my sarcasm) There’s so much you don’t know Louise. So much.

Me: Like what?

Beau: Like you’re not supposed to be talking while in Savasana.

Me: Well. You do kind of have your face stuck right in mine. It’s hard to ignore you.

Beau: Isn’t that the point of Savasana? To be present to being present without the world around you drawing your attention away from being present.

Me: Hmmm…. I see what you mean. But still. You’re licking my face. It’s hard to concentrate.

Beau: Just call me Maharishi Beau-master. Your own dawggone guru. Which means, I’ll keep slobbering kisses all over your face while you practice mindfulness.

Me: If you don’t mind I’d prefer you dispense with the slobbers.

Beau: They’re called kisses Louise. They’re a symbol of Love. Now… did I tell you the one about the Zen Master and the Dawg?

Me: (sighing) No Beau. You didn’t.

Beau: The master had four paws.

Me: Seriously Beau? That’s a joke?

Beau: Oh grasshopper. Grasshopper. It’s a koan. And the only way to figure it out is to focus. Focus. Focus.

Me: You’re still licking my face.

Beau: And you still haven’t figured out who’s the master here. But, I’m a givin’ kind of dawg so why don’t I teach you how to really do Downward Dawg.

Me: No thanks Beau. I’ve had enough yoga for today.

Beau: Oh ye of little practice. A grasshopper will never find its wings by staying stuck on the ground.

Me: Is that another one of your koans Beau?

Beau: No Louise. It’s just the truth. You can’t fly if you don’t spread your wings. Like. I can’t bark if I never open my mouth.

Me: (sigh) You’re not going to give up until I let you teach me your Downward Dawg are you?

Beau: When the student is ready the teacher appears. And here I am!

Me: (sigh) I’m ready master.

Beau: Good girl. Now you’re catching on.

And so it goes. Beau licks my face while I’m in Savasana (actually he starts with my barefeet and hands). By the time he reaches my face, my Savasana has turned into Laughing Meditation and all focus evaporates as I lose my ability to concentrate on being aware while relaxed. So into Downward Dog, I go. Again.

And I wonder… who is the master in this household? Sigh. I think I know.