Beaumont: Louise. This has got to stop.
Me: What’s got to stop?
Beau: You know. The putting photos of other critters on my blog.
Me: They’re not critters Beau. Their your fur companions.
Beau: Oh no you don’t. You can’t redirect the conversation with some stupid comment about ‘who’ they are so that we never talk about ‘what’ the real issue is.
Me: (innocently — or at least an attempt at innocence) I’m not redirecting anything Beau. I’m just saying they’re not critters.
Beau: Nope. You’re trying to get the conversation as far away from your guilty pleasure of putting photos of other critters on this here, my blog.
Me: What if I am? What’s wrong with having photos of your friends on my your blog?
Beau: They. Are. Not. My. Friends. Period. They’re interlopers in my home and I’m having none of it.
Me: Beau. Don’t be like that. You need to be more gracious.
Beau: And you need to be more thoughtful and considerate Louise. Do you know how hard it is for me to divine my thoughts loud enough that you, a mere hooman, can hear and decipher them so you can type them here? It takes a whole body-full of concentration that leaves me exhausted after every interaction. And in need of many treats btw.
Me: Don’t you mean brain full Beau? You concentrate with your brain.
Beau: See. That’s why you hoomans are in such a mess. You think it’s all about your head brain and give it total control over everything, all the while forgetting you are one body. Your body works in concert with all of you, Louise. Head. Brain. Heart. Lungs. Liver…. Not separately.
Me: (sarcastically) Yes Oh Wise One.
Beau: Sarcasm demonstrates how unevolved you really are Louise.
Me: Whatever. I’m still not taking down the photo of Zoey.
Beau: Fine. You don’t have to. I simply won’t give it my final lick of approval before you post.
Me: Beaumont. You have never licked a post before I publish it. Ever.
Beau: Then how do you think all that love goes into each post, Louise? Osmosis?
Me: Ummm…. what love?
Beau: See. Unevolved. Every post is full of love Louise. Whether we’re on the same page or different sides of the conversation, love is the driving force behind and within it all.
Me: Then why can’t you show Zoey a little love and let her photo stay?
Beau: What’s she lying on Louise?
Me: The bed?
Beau: My blanket on the bed to be exact. Which means, given she’s a hissing, squealing vixen, I can’t lie on my blanket on the bed. There ain’t no love in that there photo. Just a cat stealing my place on the bed.
Me: Oh. I see. You might have a point.
Beau: Of course I have a point. I always do.
Me: So…. what’s your point this time?
Beau: My point is, while I accept that vixen might have to come and stay when her hoomans go away, I do not accept her as the owner of my blanket on the bed.
Me: See. I’m confused again. I thought you said this was all about love.
Beau It is. I love my blanket on the bed more than that vixen.
Me: Oh. I see.
Beau: It’s about time. Now. Go move her off. I need a nap. Talking with you can be so exhausting.
Me: But I thought you liked talking with me.
Beau: I do Louise. I do. But…. as I said, it’s not a head game for me, it’s a full-body concentration sport. And I’m tired now, so be a good girl, do as I asked. Move the cat and, Oh, while you’re at it, could you please get me some treats as well. This full-body concentration takes a lot of energy. Know what I mean?
And so, I do as he asks and move the cat and get him a couple of treats. But I still left Zoey’s photo in place.
Beau: I let you do it Louise. Remember, along with being Top Dawg, I’m also the Magnanimous Magnificent Beau. I can share a little limelight with the little vixen. I just don’t want to share my blanket on the bed. And… in case you’re wondering… This post has been approved by the Magnanimous Magnificent Beau Love Campaign Free Licks for Everyone.
And…. just for – here’s a photo and video of Beau at the park this morning.