Me: Beaumont. We need to talk. Beau: I'm busy. Me: Beau.... Beau: Yah. Yah. Yah. Whatever. Me: Beaumont. This is serious. Beau: Taking me to the groomers and inflicting all that brushing and fluffing on me is serious Louise. If what you wanna talk about is what I think you wanna talk about, well that's... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. What are you doing? Beau: Sitting. Me: On my lap. Beau: My... you are observant Louise. Me: It's kind of hard not to be. You're too big and heavy to be a lapdog. Beau: I ain't heavy. I'm your brother. Me: Right. And it's a long, long road with many a winding turn.... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. What are you looking at? Beau: Not looking at. Watching for. Me: Oh. There's a difference? Beau: Oh you wordsmith you, Louise. Of course there's a difference. Me: Ok. I'll bite. What's the difference. Beau: Well... using the phrase "I'll bite" with a dawg is an example of you looking for trouble. Me:... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Louise, we need to talk. Me: Uh huh. About what? Beau: Like you don't know. Me: Ummm. Beau. No I don't. Beau: Yes you do. Me: (sighing) Honestly Beau. I don't. I can't read your mind. Beau: Really? And all this time I thought that's how you wrote these conversations. By reading my mind.... Continue Reading →
I awaken (before dawn) to Beaumont sitting by my side of the bed, staring at me. And I mean staring! Beaumont: Grrrrrr..... Me: Use your words Beau. Beau: I'm a dawg. I don't have words. I have sounds. Me: Do we have to argue about this right now? I'm sleeping. Beau: You gotta wake-up. Me:... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. Why are you scowling? Beau: So you notice? Well that's a start. Me: Of course I notice. I notice everything about you. Beau: Right. So didn't you notice I wasn't keen on going to the hairdressers? Me: Oh. Well. It was for your own good. Beau: Have you ever noticed how people use... Continue Reading →
Me: Beau. If you get off me I'll get up and we can go out for your walkie. Beaumont: It's Sunday Louise. Can't we sleep in just a bit? Please? Me: You gotta go, Beau. Beau: Where? Me: Very funny. Outside. To do your business. Beau: What business? Me: Don't be indelicate. Beau: I'm not.... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: So... what do you think? Me: About what Beau? Beau: My photo. Silly. Me: It's lovely. I did take it you know. Beau: Yeah. I know. But I'm wondering whether you got my good profile or if the other side is better. Me: Ummm.. Does it matter.? You're handsome either side. Beau: Well of... Continue Reading →
Dawggone it people. She's gone and done it now! You'd a thunk that given she's laid up with a bad back she'd at least have had the good sense to leave me alone this Hallowe'en. But nope. Apparently, the act of dressing me in that silly cow suit she calls my winter coat was too... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont, where's your ball? Beau: You're the one who threw it. Don't you know? Me: Ummm... well, the practice is... I throw. You run and fetch. Beau: You've got that a little wrong Louise. Me: How so? Beau: Well, it should be - You throw. I run in the direction it looked like you... Continue Reading →
