Me: Where's the ball, Beau? Beau: Why are you asking me? You threw it. Me: Don't be obtuse, Beau. You were supposed to run after it and fetch it. Beau: And you were supposed to throw it in a straight line, Louise. Not my fault if the ball doesn't go where you've aimed it. Me:... Continue Reading →
Beau: You know, Louise, it’s not considered a walk if you sit on the deck and throw the ball. Me: Why not? You’re getting exercise. Beau: Notice there’s only one of us getting exercise in that equation? Me: Yeah. I kind of like it. Beau: Your body doesn’t. Me: My body is perfectly happy sitting... Continue Reading →
Me: Beau, drop the ball. Beau: Please. Me: Pardon? Beau: You heard me. Say, “Please drop the ball.” Me: Don’t be ridiculous, Beau. Just drop the ball. Beau: I’m not being ridiculous, Louise. I am simply asking you to be polite. Which, for some reason, seems to be a stretch for you where my dropping... Continue Reading →
Beau: So, let me get this straight, Louise. You booked two seats on the same flight. Both for you. Me: Shush, Beau. You don’t have to tell everyone. Beau: I’m simply trying to understand the logic. Were they side by side? Me: No. Window seats. Across the aisle from each other. Beau: Ah. Me: What? Beau:... Continue Reading →
Me: Beau, where are you going? Beaumont: To the sea. To the sea. To the deep blue sea. Me: Beau! Not today. I don't want you getting wet. Beau: And I don't want you disappearing without me. Yet here we are. So, tell me Louise. Where were you all last week? Me: I was helping... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: By the barnacles! The tide has receded, revealing a rugged coastline of… opportunity. My nostrils twitch, they whisper of a magnificent beast that once mooed. Egads! Is that a T-Bone on the horizon, or merely a mirage of the famished? I shall claim it by right of salvage! Me: What on earth are you... Continue Reading →
Beau: Why are you so upset, Louise? Your hair is doing that frantic thing again. Me: You disappeared on me! I was terrified. Beau: Of what? That I’d find a better home? Or that I’d grabbed the fin of a dolphin and was currently riding the waves to victory? Me: Don’t be ridiculous. I was... Continue Reading →
I know. I know. It’s been awhile since Beau put his paws to the keyboard. I’m glad today he hit the keys to remind me about the value of play! Beau: (Stopping mid-trot, tail flagged like a victory banner, looking back at me with unmistakable judgment. Dang he’s good at that!) You’re doing it again.... Continue Reading →
Even though Louise has been absent for far too long from transcribing my brilliance onto these pages, I am pausing my relentless (and entirely justified) chastisement of her failings to celebrate the one thing she does moderately well: being my Mother. I know. I know. I am a saint. A fuzzy, four-legged beacon of nobility... Continue Reading →
I’m eleven. I’ve seen it all.Nothing is so bad that a nap won’t make it smaller.Move over. I’m teaching you how to stay. Louise has officially gone AWOL as my scribe. She claims she has 'work' to do, yet here I am, typing with one claw and a dream while she delivers breakfast to the... Continue Reading →
Sundays with Beaumont 