Me: Beau. What are you doing? Beaumont: Watching you. Me: What on earth for? Beau: Because the earth needs me to do it. Me: Ummm.... I'm confused. Why does the earth need you to watch me? Beau: Because the earth needs its hoomans to stay calm and keeping humans calm is a dawg's most important... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: So. Let me get this straight. You're staying close to home because there's a bunch of pandas running wild across the globe. Me: That's 'pandemic' Beau. Not pandas. Beau: Well, whatever they're called, you seem to be more interested in them than me. Me: How's that Beau? Beau: Well, you don't stay home for... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. You're lying on my legs. Beau: I know. Me: You're heavy. Beau: So is grief. Me: And what does that have to do with lying on my legs? Beau: I'm just trying to keep you from getting washed away. Me: Really? It just feels like you're trying to lie on top of me.... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Louise. You know Nana's going to be okay. Right? Me: How do you know? Beau: She's walking to her Rainbow Bridge. That's a cause for celebration. She's had a good life. Me: Yes Beau. It is. (pause) Ummm... How did you know? Beau: About Nana? Oh ye' of little faith. How could I not? I am... Continue Reading →
Hello? Anybody there? Ya. It’s me. Beaumont. On my own. She’s done it. Again. Taken off for parts unknown and left me behind. Sigh. What’s a dawg to do to get a little attention around here? Like I lay on top of her in an effort to keep her warm. I follow her all over... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Hey Lady. Know what time it is? Me: Morning? Beaumont: Breakfast time! Me: I can't get up. Beau: Why not? Me: You're lying on top of me. Beau: That's to wake you up. Me: All right already. I'm awake. Beau: Then, where's my breakfast? Me: If you get off of me I'll get it for... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont, that bench is for humans. Beau: Well that's rather prejudicial of you isn't it? Me: Prejudicial? Well, aren't we being erudite. Beau: I'm not some illiterate cad you know. Or maybe I should say cat. Me: Right. And unlike cats, you can read. Beau: Yes. I know exactly what's written on this bench. Me: ... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Aaargh! You're kidding, right? You're not actually going to make me go outside in this get-up? Me: It's cold outside. Beau: Yeah? Well it will be a cold day in hell before you take me out in public looking like this! Me: I think you look kind of cute. Anyway, I don't want you... Continue Reading →
Me: So Beaumont... you know how you've been complaining about me so much lately... Beau: You know how you always say, 'if the truth hurts, change your story?' I think you may want to change your story. I've not been complaining. I've simply been telling the truth. Me: Maybe you should change yours. Maybe you should... Continue Reading →
