Me: Beau. Stop eating the grass. Beaumont: You know it's all your fault. Right? Me: What's that? Beau: The fact I eat grass. Me: How's that Beau? Beau: Remember the cow coat you made me wear last winter? Me: The one I bought to keep you warm in sub-arctic temperatures. Beau: Right that one. The... Continue Reading →
It stormed last night. Thunder. Lightning. Wind. Rain. Beaumont doesn't like thunder and lightning. Nor wind. They scare him. I awoke at around 4am to the sound of him standing over me on the bed, panting noisily. Me: Beau. What is it? Beau: Huff. Huff. Huff. Me: Go back to sleep. Beau: Huff. Huff. Huff. Me: ... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: So let me get this straight. I have to stay here, locked up in the laundry room because you took me to the park and now you think I'm all wet and dirty. Me: Well. You are. Beau: I thought you revere nature. Me: I do. Beau: But you don't want it in the... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: So, let's see if I've got this right. You, Louise, think it's more important you get the flowers planted, the deck swept and all sorts of other household chores completed before writing my blog. Does that about sum it up? Me: I'm not sure I think it's more important Beau. Just a bit more... Continue Reading →
Hey everyone. It's me. Beaumont. Yeah. I know. She's gone all derelict on her duties again and I'm having to pound my paws on the keyboard. Dawggone it. The things a dawg's gotta do when your humans so very hooman. Apparently, she's engrossed in creating some art piece for this journal she's creating. I don't... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: So let me get this straight. Since Covid isolation started you've gone through almost 25 kilos of flour. Me: Yup. Amazing isn't it. Beau: I think it's rather selfish. Me: Selfish? How so? Beau: What have you been baking Louise? Me: Ummm.... Bread. Cookies. Muffins. Foccacia. Pies. More cookies. More bread. Beau: Hmmm... I... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. You know you're lying on my legs again, like a bridge? Beau: Yah. What of it? Me: Is there a reason? Beau: Do I need a reason to get close to you? Me: You're answering a question with a question. Stop it. Beau: What else am I supposed to do? Your question was... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Hello? Earth to Louise. Can't you see the ball? Me: Of course I can. Beau: And... Me: And what? Beau: Don't be obtuse, Louise. You know the what. Me: You want me to throw the ball. Beau: See. You are present in this moment! Me: Of course I am. I'm just not going to throw... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. What are you doing? Beaumont: The question isn't what am I doing, it's, "What aren't you doing?" Me: I'll bite. What aren't I doing? Beau: Well, first off, using stupid phrases like, "I'll bite" with a dawg is something you shouldn't be doing. Me: Oh. Right. Sorry. Okay. Just tell me, because I... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: I demand an audience. Me: Excuse me? Beau: You heard me. I need to be heard. Now. Me: Well, aren't we just the demanding sort this morning. Beau: I already said that. Me: Ya. Ya. Whatever. What for? Beau: Seriously? You're going to use sloppy English in a time like this? Me: (sigh) What... Continue Reading →
