Me: Beaumont. Would you please get that disgusting thing off the couch. Beau: It's not a 'thing'. It's my Bebé. Me: I don't care what it is. It's disgusting. Please take it away. Now. Beau: If you throw it, I will. Me: I am not touching that thing! Beau: Bebé. Me: Beau.... Beau: (oh so... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: I don't get it. Me: Get what Beau? Beau: Why I can't come in. Me: I'm going to the bathroom Beau. I would like to go alone. Beau: You don't let me go alone. Me: That's different. Beau: Different how? Me: Well... you go outside. There's no door. Beau: BNNNNNNEEEEEEHHHH! (that's the sound of... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. Is there a reason you're sitting staring out the patio door? Beau: Is there a reason we're sitting inside on such a beautiful day? Me: It's not polite to answer a question with a question. Beau: It's not polite to ask questions you already know the answer to. Me: It's also bad grammar... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. We need to talk. Beau: I'm busy. Me: Beau.... Beau: Yah. Yah. Yah. Whatever. Me: Beaumont. This is serious. Beau: Taking me to the groomers and inflicting all that brushing and fluffing on me is serious Louise. If what you wanna talk about is what I think you wanna talk about, well that's... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. What are you doing? Beau: Sitting. Me: On my lap. Beau: My... you are observant Louise. Me: It's kind of hard not to be. You're too big and heavy to be a lapdog. Beau: I ain't heavy. I'm your brother. Me: Right. And it's a long, long road with many a winding turn.... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. What are you looking at? Beau: Not looking at. Watching for. Me: Oh. There's a difference? Beau: Oh you wordsmith you, Louise. Of course there's a difference. Me: Ok. I'll bite. What's the difference. Beau: Well... using the phrase "I'll bite" with a dawg is an example of you looking for trouble. Me:... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont? Did you just do something to put yourself on Santa's naughty list? Beau: Who? Me? No. Never. Me: What's that between your paws? Beau: What? This ole' thing? I found it... Me: Found it? Beau: Yup. It was just lying there. Discarded. On the floor... Me: You mean under the Christmas tree. Beau:... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Louise, we need to talk. Me: Uh huh. About what? Beau: Like you don't know. Me: Ummm. Beau. No I don't. Beau: Yes you do. Me: (sighing) Honestly Beau. I don't. I can't read your mind. Beau: Really? And all this time I thought that's how you wrote these conversations. By reading my mind.... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Louise, can you spell unimpressed? Me: Of course. Why do you ask? Beau: Just checkin'. In case you had to look it up. Me: Why would I have to look it up? Beau: So you could name the way I'm feeling. Me: Because you're sitting amidst the Pointsettas like a Christmas Tree? I think... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. Why are you scowling? Beau: So you notice? Well that's a start. Me: Of course I notice. I notice everything about you. Beau: Right. So didn't you notice I wasn't keen on going to the hairdressers? Me: Oh. Well. It was for your own good. Beau: Have you ever noticed how people use... Continue Reading →
