Me: Beaumont. What are you doing? Beau: Sitting. Me: On my lap. Beau: My... you are observant Louise. Me: It's kind of hard not to be. You're too big and heavy to be a lapdog. Beau: I ain't heavy. I'm your brother. Me: Right. And it's a long, long road with many a winding turn.... Continue Reading →
We Need To Talk.
Beaumont: Louise, we need to talk. Me: Uh huh. About what? Beau: Like you don't know. Me: Ummm. Beau. No I don't. Beau: Yes you do. Me: (sighing) Honestly Beau. I don't. I can't read your mind. Beau: Really? And all this time I thought that's how you wrote these conversations. By reading my mind.... Continue Reading →
I Am Not A Christmas Tree.
Beaumont: Louise, can you spell unimpressed? Me: Of course. Why do you ask? Beau: Just checkin'. In case you had to look it up. Me: Why would I have to look it up? Beau: So you could name the way I'm feeling. Me: Because you're sitting amidst the Pointsettas like a Christmas Tree? I think... Continue Reading →
I Always Get My Way
Me: Beau. If you get off me I'll get up and we can go out for your walkie. Beaumont: It's Sunday Louise. Can't we sleep in just a bit? Please? Me: You gotta go, Beau. Beau: Where? Me: Very funny. Outside. To do your business. Beau: What business? Me: Don't be indelicate. Beau: I'm not.... Continue Reading →
My Good Side
Beaumont: So... what do you think? Me: About what Beau? Beau: My photo. Silly. Me: It's lovely. I did take it you know. Beau: Yeah. I know. But I'm wondering whether you got my good profile or if the other side is better. Me: Ummm.. Does it matter.? You're handsome either side. Beau: Well of... Continue Reading →
A Dawg In Cat’s Ears.
Dawggone it people. She's gone and done it now! You'd a thunk that given she's laid up with a bad back she'd at least have had the good sense to leave me alone this Hallowe'en. But nope. Apparently, the act of dressing me in that silly cow suit she calls my winter coat was too... Continue Reading →
A Lesson In Accountability
Me: Beaumont, where's your ball? Beau: You're the one who threw it. Don't you know? Me: Ummm... well, the practice is... I throw. You run and fetch. Beau: You've got that a little wrong Louise. Me: How so? Beau: Well, it should be - You throw. I run in the direction it looked like you... Continue Reading →
Sad. Confused. And Shaved!
Dear DawgAnn Danders, It's me. Beaumont. I've snuck onto my dad's laptop while he's taking a nap (with me on the bed of course.) I'm writing today because I'm confused. My mom has gone off to see the grandlittles (apparently there's a new little and she couldn't stay away). But here's the deal. While it's... Continue Reading →
The Obstreperous Dawg
Me: So.... Beau.... Beaumont: Oh dear. I always get nervous when you say my name like that. What did I do this time? Me: Don't be silly. Nothing. I just want to talk to you about something. Beau: What's that? Me: Well. A friend, a big fan of yours, suggested you might want to be... Continue Reading →
I Demand An Audience
Beaumont: I demand an audience. Me: Excuse me? Beau: You heard me. I need to be heard. Now. Me: Well, aren't we just the demanding sort this morning. Beau: I already said that. Me: Ya. Ya. Whatever. What for? Beau: Seriously? You're going to use sloppy English in a time like this? Me: (sigh) What... Continue Reading →