The Integrity Shave

Beaumont: So… Louise… Do you see the snow?

Me: Hard to miss it Beau. It’s kind of everywhere.

Beau: So, if you can see it can you explain to me why you took away my only protection from the cold that accompanies it? Puhleasee.

Me: Well… Um… When I booked your appointment to get shaved it was warm and the snow was all gone.

Beau: And on the morning of my appointment was it snowing?

Me: What’s your point Beau?

Beau: Don’t you go and ‘what’s your point me’ Louise. Just answer the question.

Me: I’d rather not.

Beau: See. There you go being all fragilely hooman. Refusing to answer a question ’cause you know the truth will out.

Me: So if you know the truth why do I need to say it?

Beau: Because confession is good for the soul Louise. Not to mention, it keeps you walking in your integrity.

Me: Okay. But…/

Beau: Keep your but out of it Louise. Just say the truth.

Me: Fine. It was snowing the day I took you in for your haircut Beau.

Beau: And….

Me: And what?

Beau: And knowing that I’d be cold without my coat, rather than reschedule you chose to shave your integrity, ignore my comfort and choose what was easiest for you.

Me: Oh that.

Beau: Yes Louise. Oh that.

Me: Well… I couldn’t very well reschedule the day of now could I Beau?

Beau: Was it snowing the day before my haircut Louise?

Me: Oh… That.

Beau: Ahem…

Me: Fine. Yes it was. But you desperately needed a bath and to get the knots out of your coat.

Beau: And there are knots in my coat because…

Me: Beau. Can we just let it go please? I get I took the easy way out and should have brushed you more throughout the winter. But dawg gone it. You’re pressing the Catholic guilt trip pedal a bit hard!

Beau: Just keeping you accountable Louise for shaving on your integrity and causing me discomfort.

Me: Fine. I acknowledge I should have rescheduled your appointment to avoid causing you discomfort. I apologize. I commit to thinking about your comfort when I make decisions that impact your comfort…. Satisfied?

Beau: Yes Louise. Almost… Is there a T-Bone steak in there to make amends?

Me: AAARRRGGGHHHHH!

And so it continues. Beau schooling me on living in integrity and me falling short of the last word. Sigh.