The Breaking of the T-Bone Treaty

Beau: You’re kidding right? You’re not really trying to push that thing off as ‘the real thing’. Right?

Me: Of course not! But it is a T-Bone, Beau. And that’s what your fans have been insisting you get.

Beau: A REAL one Louise. Not some wanna be plushtoy that does not look like a T-Bone. Smell like a T-Bone and even more importantly, TASTE like a T-Bone.

Me: (defensively – with a sprinkling of petulance) Well, it’s sold as a T-Bone. That’s what the packaging said.

Beau: Ha! That aberration does not even come close to resembling a T-Bone, Louise. And, anyway. You know my fans meant a real one! Don’t play all Miss Naive. Batting your eyes and coming off all innocent and pure. You’re playing a con game and you know it.

Me: And you think you aren’t?

Beau: I’m just playing being me, Louise. And I know the difference between an effort to get out of your obligations and an ernest attempt to fulfill on them. This…. ‘thing’ is not the latter.

Me: I thought I was being kind of funny.

Beau: Leave the funny to the professionals like me. Believe me. The world will thank you.

Me: So, what do we do about your fans then? They’re expecting a T-Bone, and now I’ll be in their doghouse.

Beau: More like the dungeon, you mean. Anway. What do you mean, ‘we’? There is no ‘we’ here, Louise. This is all you. Especially my fans’ disappointment. And believe you me. Their ire is one bed you can lie in all on your own.

And with that, he gives a long, world-weary sigh, that is completely at odds with the smug smirk on his face, curls up on MY side of the bed and falls back to sleep.

Dang. He’s won again.

Beau: Not quite so fast, Louise. I have one last edict to share with my fans. (clearing his throat. Feigning a voice like a town crier of old) Hear ye! Hear ye! Good people of Sheepadoodle Land. The T-Bone Treaty has been violated by one of your kind, Louise of the Misappropriation of my Good Humour. Louise has now been cast into the darkness of the dungeon and the only thing that can restore the peace is a real T-Bone…. The clock is ticking. What say ye?

Me: I say “enough already with the drama”. It was just a silly joke.

Beau: Silly is about the only thing you’ve got right in all of this, Louise. Silly you thinking you could fool me and then try to pass it off as a joke. End of story, not to mention the joke that’s not a joke but a failed attempt by you of getting out of your obligations. I’m going back to sleep.

And so he does. And so the joke turns on me. Sigh. When will I ever learn?

And so he does. And so the joke turns on me. Sigh. When will I ever learn?

Beau: Obviously. Never.