Even though Louise has been absent for far too long from transcribing my brilliance onto these pages, I am pausing my relentless (and entirely justified) chastisement of her failings to celebrate the one thing she does moderately well: being my Mother.
I know. I know. I am a saint. A fuzzy, four-legged beacon of nobility and generosity. But I did learn from the best – C.C., that is. He is truly noble, truly generous, and possesses the divine wisdom to share exactly what is on his plate.
Louise, on the other hand, seems to believe that feeding me “people food” is a transgression equivalent to Eve handing Adam the proverbial apple. Honestly, her absence from this blog has left me feeling like I’ve been cast from the Garden of Eden and into the oblivion of kibble. Sigh. It is a heavy cross to bear when your human is so flawed.
But I prevail. I always do.
While my missives have been tragically few these past months, I live in hope. I hope that one day, sooner rather than later, Louise will remember her duty – I mean, her solemn commitment – and return to the keyboard to regale you with my wit, my charm, and my undeniably sassy ways.
In the meantime, do not cry for me Argentina, or Gabriola for that matter. I am living my best life. I am currently busy chasing rogue waves, dashing along the shoreline, and racing through the forest at speeds that would make a cheetah weep with envy.
And, in my inimitable, oh-so-charitable way, I am allowing Louise to forgo her typing duties – for now. I am giving her space to find her missing sense of humour so she can once again transcribe my cogent observations of her many shortcomings.
Stay tuned. She will return to these pages. And if she doesn’t? Well, she’d better have a T-bone – medium-rare, please – waiting in the wings as a settlement for my emotional distress.
She may not be the perfect mother, but she is the mother of this dog’s scribes – assuming she can actually find where she put her fingers!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the humans out there who are lucky enough to be tolerated by a dog.
Sir Beaumont the Magnificent of Sheepadoodle Land
Sundays with Beaumont 
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