Beaumont: So… what’s with the blog you’ve started about me?
Me: Well, it’s not really about you. It’s about our conversations. I’m sharing them.
Beaumont: I see. And when were you going to tell me about this?
Me: I am. Right now.
Beaumont (sarcastically): How thoughtful. Have you spoken with my lawyers?
Me: Pardon me? Your lawyers?
Beaumont: Yes. If you plan on capitalizing on my brilliance by using my words in a commercial endeavour, then I need to ensure my rights are protected.
Me: Umm… What rights would those be?
Me: They’re called ‘copyrights’.
Beaumont: Well I’ll be dawggone. You admit I have them.
Me: Of course you have them. But you forget one thing. Remember. You can’t read and write and I’m doing the typing.
Beaumont: But I can speak. Give me the phone. I’m calling my lawyer.
Me: Wait! What if I promise to give you an extra treat a day and let you play with that cute poodle down the street?
Beaumont: An extra ten of my favourite treats a day, and I get to bring that cute poodle home to show her my dog bed.
Me: Ten treats a day? You’ll get fat.
Beaumont: Not if you throw in an extra walk a day.
Me: I don’t see why you have to get all huffy about this. I’m just writing a blog.
Beaumont: Using my words.
Me: My words too.
Beaumont: Now look who’s being all huffy. At least you own your words.
Me: Well… I kinda own…
Beaumont: I wouldn’t go there… Remember, ‘to blog or not to blog’? What’s it going to be?
Me: Right. Back to that copyright issue.
Beaumont: Dogyrights. So what’s it gonna be? Are you gonna dogy-up or am I throwing you to the dawgs?
Me: Fine. Deal.
Beaumont: What about the poodle?
Me: I’ll check with her owners.
Beaumont: Better do it quick. After 24 hours, this deal goes to the dawgs.