Do I Have to Move?

Me:  Beaumont…

Beau:  Whaaat?

Me:  You’re lying on my side of the bed.

Beau:  Well actually I was sleeping.

Me:  How could you be sleeping already? I just got up to get a glass of water

Beau:  I have a clear conscience. Makes it easy to go to sleep.

Me:  Are you suggesting I don’t?

Beau:  Well…. you are the one who had to get up for a glass of water in the middle of the night.

Me:  That’s because I was thirsty.

Beau:  So you say.

Me:  Beaumont…

Beau:  What?

Me:  You have to move. I want to get back in bed.

Beau:  Say please.

Me:  Beaumont…

Beau:  Why do you always say my name as if I know what you’re thinking? I can’t read minds you know, especially one as cluttered as yours.

Me:  Beaumont…

Beau:  There you go again.

Me:  Fine. Then let me read it out for you. What my mind is saying right now is… you’re stalling. Move it.

Beau:  Say please.

Me (sighing): Please move.

Beau:  Seeing as you ask so nicely. I will.

Me (a tad sarcastically):  Thank you.

Beau:  You’re welcome. (Slowly rising and moving from the bed) Can I take the pillow with me?

Me:  Beaumont…

Beau (sighing):  Man you humans are touchy. I was just asking.

Me (throwing the pillow off the bed onto the floor): Here. Happy?

Beau: Yes. Thanks. Night. Night. Can you turn out the light please? It’s bothering my eyes.

I turn out the light and try to go back to sleep.

Beaumont is snoring within a few seconds (though I am suspicious he is just pretending).

After 15 minutes of tossing and turning, I grab a blanket and pillow and go sleep on the couch. I don’t think I’ll tell him. I’m sure he’d have lots to say about that!