Cold shoulders and other doggie parts

Uncle Al

Beaumont:  So… You know it’s Monday today. Not Sunday.

Me:  Yup.

Beaumont:  So…. what happened  yesterday?  Just because you’re in Mexico you think you can forget about me?

Me:  No. Of course not. it’s just we were travelling.

Beaumont:  And that’s your excuse. Harrumph. Sounds like humanwash to me.

Me:  Well it’s true. And btw. It’s hogwash not humanwash.

Beaumont:  Only if you’re not a dog. So… back to your excuse. Tell me again what happened so I can pretend you care when I know you’re off having a great ole’ time. Ooops. Sorry. I forgot you were sensitive about the ‘old’ bit seeing as you just turned 65 and all.

Me:  Don’t be cheeky. I’m fine about my age. Anyway, we were travelling from Todos Santos to Huatulco and it took all day.  Mexico is a big country you know.

Beaumont:  No. I wouldn’t know.  You didn’t take me. Remember.

Me:  Right. Well, I did Facetime with Jane yesterday while we had a layover in Mexico City and you were there but you wouldn’t even look at me in the camera.

Beaumont:  I was busy with my girlfriend Jane. Why would I bother with some technological contraption that can’t pet me or feed me?

Me:  Right. Well.  I miss you.

Beaumont:  Whatever.

Me:  Beau. Aren’t you going to wish me happy birthday?

Beaumont:  Whatever. Happy Birthday. Now, leave me alone. I’ve gotta snuggle up with Jane. She’s promised to rub my tummy and feed me bonbons.  That’s way more than you do by the way.

Me:  Don’t get too comfortable.  We’re back next Sunday night.

Beaumont:  Whatever. See you when I see you. But don’t expect me to be all ‘yeah! they’re home!  I’ve missed you so much’ and all that doggie jazz. I’m not a trained monkey you know and I don’t dance just to make you happy. In case you’ve forgotten I am the ruler of the roost — and anyway, I kinda like it here with Jane and Al.

We did FaceTime with Jane yesterday. Beaumont was in the picture but he wouldn’t even look at us. Sigh.  Do you think his feelings are hurt because we’re away or maybe he’s just really happy where he is?  Which is what I want… but doggone it, he could look a little bit sad we’re not there! 🙂 

So grateful for our friends for being his bestest Aunt and Uncle ever even though I’m expecting a cold shoulder from you know who when we return! 

One thought on “Cold shoulders and other doggie parts

Add yours

  1. Ha ha! We had a chat tonight and he told me he misses you.
    Beau: no I didn’t. I said I might miss them but they did leave me to go party without me. They know I like a party.
    Me: Oh Beau. They sent you on a vacation too. To Our place. And you didn’t bring them. How do you think they feel?
    Beau: Oh ok. Maybe I did. Do you think they’ll be proud of me when they get home?
    Me: I know they love you and miss you…..but what have you done to make them proud today?
    Beau: I chased the neighbours cat up a trellis and into a tree- about 10 feet up. I’m the king of the neighbourhood now.
    Me: Another great accomplishment! You’re amazing Beau. Just the best! Did you help him down?
    Beau: No – he deserves to be terrorized. He’s still up there.

    Like

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