Beau: So…. is there a reason I am being lugged around like a toy poodle?
Me: Well, you are half poodle.
Beau: Standard poodle. There’s a big difference between a toy and a standard you know.
Me: Well, you’re as cute as a toy poodle.
Beau: Cute has nothing to do with my looks. I’m handsome. Debonair. GQish.
Me: Says who?
Beau: All the girls at the park say it!
Me: Well, they’re real dogs.
Beau: And what am I? Chopped liver.
Me: No. No. I just mean… well, I don’t know what I mean. I just think you look all cute and cuddly.
Beau: Which is why Tim has to be holding me up beside the Christmas tree?
Me: No. It’s just…. Well… you look so cute and Tim wanted to give you a closer look at the lights.
Beau: I’d rather see the gifts. With my name on them.
Me: Oh. Well… Christmas isn’t all about gifts you know.
Beau: Really? You’re trying to feed me that hogwash? I wasn’t born yesterday you know. I expect Santa to be bringing me lots of goodies and lots of toys.
Me: Ummm…. You’d have had to have been a good little boy for that.
Beau: Are you suggesting I’m not?
Me: I’m just saying lots of goodies and toys are for good little boys and girls. I’m not sure you fit the bill.
Beau: You know there are no bad dogs. Just bad humans who think they own their dogs.
Me: Believe me. I don’t think I own you. I kind of think it’s the other way around.
Beau: Good. Now that we’ve got that straightened out… Back to my gifts under the tree. I’m expecting a big haul come Christmas morning. You don’t want to disappoint me.
Me: And if I do… disappoint you?
Beau: You know those favourite leather boots you often leave by the front door?
Me: What about ’em?
Beau: If I don’t get a nice big chewy bone for Christmas I just might mistake them for a chew toy… Know what I mean?
Me: Are you threatening me?
Beau: Never in a thousand dog years. I’m just sayin’ no tellin’ what might happen if I don’t have something to chew on when the urge calls.
Me: Got it. So… what else do you expect under the tree?
Beau: Hang on a minute. I’ve got a list…
And so it goes. Beau always gets the last word, and what he wants. It’s a dog’s life.
Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays everyone. From Beaumont and his humans (even though they’re not well trained they do appreciate you following along on his blog!)
Beaumont, you’re not asking for much at Christmas. Perhaps if you would do a few extra things in the next 24 hours, maybe, just maybe your “people” will surprise you tomorrow morning. Merry Christmas!
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MERRY CHRISTMAS…to you and yours.
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