Beaumont: Look. Seeing as you forgot my ball and ball chucker, why don’t you just take one of those pretty red ones off the tree?
Me: They’re Christmas decorations. Not balls.
Beau: So you say. They look perfectly round and throwable to me.
Me: They’d break the minute they touched the ground.
Beau: Prove it.
Me: I am not going to throw a Christmas ornament just to prove to you it will break.
Beau: Maybe you should have thought of that before you forgot my ball and ball chucker?
Me: Why don’t you just run around like all the other dogs instead of only wanting to chase a ball?
Beau: Would you rather I chase cars?
Me: No. Of course not. But you could run and chase dogs.
Beau: Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not some infantile little pup who chases after everything with a tail.
Me: Don’t be crass.
Beau: I’m not being crass. I have my standards. I chase balls because it pleases me. Chasing after other dogs does not. End of story.
Me: Couldn’t you just try for today?
Beau: Couldn’t you just have remembered to bring my ball and chucker?
Me: I didn’t mean to forget them!
Beau: I accept your incompetence. The question is… What are you going to do to make this right?
Me: What can I do?
Beau: See the tree? See the red ball?
Me: I told you. It will break.
Beau: Fine. Still not my problem.
Me: What if we just walk around the park?
Beau: What a great idea! You walk. I’ll wait here for you to get back. Maybe by then you’ll have figured out what to do to make this right.
Me: What if I go home and get the ball and ball chucker?
Beau: Now you’re talking.
Sigh. So Beau and I went home. Got his ball and chucker and went back to the park.
I think he was quite pleased with himself.