Just throw it why don’t you?

Beaumont:  Look. Seeing as you forgot my ball and ball chucker, why don’t you just take one of those pretty red ones off the tree?

Me:  They’re Christmas decorations. Not balls.

Beau:  So you say. They look perfectly round and throwable to me.

Me:  They’d break the minute they touched the ground.

Beau:  Prove it.

Me:  I am not going to throw a Christmas ornament just to prove to you it will break.

Beau:  Maybe you should have thought of that before you forgot my ball and ball chucker?

Me:  Why don’t you just run around like all the other dogs instead of only wanting to chase a ball?

Beau:  Would you rather I chase cars?

Me:  No. Of course not. But you could run and chase dogs.

Beau:  Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not some infantile little pup who chases after everything with a tail.

Me:  Don’t be crass.

Beau:  I’m not being crass. I have my standards. I chase balls because it pleases me. Chasing after other dogs does not. End of story.

Me:  Couldn’t you just try for today?

Beau:  Couldn’t you just have remembered to bring my ball and chucker?

Me:  I didn’t mean to forget them!

Beau:  I accept your incompetence. The question is… What are you going to do to make this right?

Me:  What can I do?

Beau:  See the tree? See the red ball?

Me:  I told you. It will break.

Beau:  Fine. Still not my problem.

Me:  What if we just walk around the park?

Beau:  What a great idea! You walk. I’ll wait here for you to get back. Maybe by then you’ll have figured out what to do to make this right.

Me:  What if I go home and get the ball and ball chucker?

Beau:  Now you’re talking.

Sigh. So Beau and I went home. Got his ball and chucker and went back to the park. 

I think he was quite pleased with himself.