I’d Rather Be Zoomin’ Around At The Park

I’d rather be zoomin’ around at the park

Hey everyone. It’s me. Beaumont.

Yeah. I know. She’s gone all derelict on her duties again and I’m having to pound my paws on the keyboard. Dawggone it. The things a dawg’s gotta do when your humans so very hooman.

Apparently, she’s engrossed in creating some art piece for this journal she’s creating. I don’t know for sure but I think it’s got something to do with the pandas that have been running rampant around the globe during this panda emic. (Question. Is an emic like an enema makin’ hoomans sh*t your bloomers ’cause of some virus? I’m asking for a friend).

She says it’s all about sequestered solitude and the wonder she’s found being shut-in and all that jazz, but if you ask me, I think it’s just an excuse for hiding out in her studio and leaving me, up here, all by my little lonesome.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I like lying by the window looking out at the river, watching the cars and people on the bridge, but you know me, I’d rather be zoomin’ around at the park rather than sitting on endless Zoom calls (which is the other thing that seems to be taking up a lot of her time these days) watching her talk to people I barely know.

Sure, she’ll sometimes invite me to say hi, but seriously? You seen one hooman you seen them all. Zoomin’ just don’t let you smell the real deal. Know what I mean? I’m a dawg lady. I get to know who’s who in the park by smellin’ butts. And Zoom callin’ stinks when it comes to smellin’ butts.

Anyway. One nice thing she did for me yesterday was take me to the park to run with my cousin, Wilma. Wilma’s pretty young, like 14 weeks old in hooman years, but she’s dang cute. I even let her steal the ball.  I know. I know. I’m just that kind of generous.

As a special treat, and because I’m writin’ this here post not her, I’m sharin’ the vid she took of me at the park. Yeah. She had to include Wilma and my sister, Lele, but that’s okay. It was Mother’s Day and all so I gotta be magnanimous. I know. I know. I’m pretty rad when it comes to graciosity. Hmmm. Is that a word? Heck. I don’t know but I can’t ask her ’cause she’s down in the studio ignoring me and anyway, I like ‘graciosity’ so I’m leavin’ it in!

So. Where was I? right. the vid.

You’ll see me being full of graciosity letting Wilma take the ball. Don’t worry. I get it back. I mean seriously, dawg, it’s my ball.

Gotta go. She’s coming up the stairs and gets all huffy when she catches my paws on the keypad. Maybe if I look all innocent like she’ll take me to the park again.

See ya dudes.

Yours in solitary confinement,



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