Me: Beaumont. You know you’re sitting on me right?
Beau: You know you’re on my chaise right?
Me: Your chaise?
Beau: Hey! A dawg’s gotta lie somewhere and this is where I lie.
Me: Ummm… This is where I’m reading.
Beau: Louise. There are many places you can read in this house.
Me: And many places you can lie.
Beau: But only one comfy place where I can lie and protect you from the squirrels.
Me: Ummm… excuse me? Protect me from the squirrels?
Beau: Yeah. I can lie in comfort and be on squirrel patrol from the chaise ’cause I can see outside from there.
Me: And why do you need to be on squirrel patrol. You’re inside. They’re outside.
Beau: Have you seen how those rascals fly from branch to branch? One of these days I wouldn’t be surprised if they just flew in through the window and landed right dab in the middle of the living room.
Me: The window’s closed.
Beau: Does the squirrel know that?
Me: I have no idea.
Beau: Are you willing to take that risk?
Me: I’m not sure it’s a risk.
Beau: That’s because I’m always on squirrel patrol. Now please. Get off my chaise and go sit somewhere else. I’ve got a job to do.
Sigh. So. I get off the chaise and move to the couch. Beau lies down on the chaise, watches the squirrels for awhile and then falls asleep. Some Squirrel Patrol watcher!
Beau: Hey! Watch what you say. I’m the best Squirrel Patroller around.
Me: Right. Sleeping Squirrel Patroller you mean.
Beau: It’s hard work. Sometimes, a dawg’s just gotta take a nap.
Me: On my chaise?
Beau: See. That’s the problem. You think it’s yours!
Silly me. What was I thinking!