Beaumont: Ummm…. You know that’s not a photo of me, right Louise?
Me: Of course.
Beau: Then why are you sharing it?
Me: Because a moose on the loose in our backyard is pretty cool?
Beau: (making that buzzer sound that means ‘loser”) NEEEEAAAAHHH
Me: Be generous Beau. You gotta admit a moose in our backyard was pretty cool.
Beau: Not when you didn’t let me go out and play with it.
Me: Ummm… well….. that didn’t seem like such a good idea.
Beau: And why not?
Me: Because a moose on the loose might be a majestic beast but he is still a wild animal.
Beau: And what am I?
Me: A domesticated beast?
Beau: Ouch. That doesn’t sound very… majestic.
Me: Majestic is a word I would use for the moose Beau. But… I gotta admit… it’s not one I tend to use with you.
Beau: That woman at the river called me majestic when she saw me swimming. Remember?
Beau: So why can’t you call me a majestic beast?
Me: (stalling. trying to think up a good response) Oh look! There’s another moose in the backyard.
Beau: Louise. Seriously? You think I’m gonna fall for that old schtick?
Me: (sighing) I can hope…
Beau: Ha! Hope on lady. But… back to my question… Am I or am I not worthy of being called a majestic beast?
Me: It’s got nothing to do with worthiness Beau.
Beau: Than what’s it got to do with.
Me: Well…. it’s all about… um…. style. Yeah. Style.
Beau: Are you saying I don’t got style?
Me: Oh no Beau! You’ve got lots of style. It just doesn’t lean towards the majestic.
Beau: Then what does it lean towards?
Me: Um… The goofy?
Beau: Seriously? The goofy?
Me: In a good way Beau. A good way.
Beau: Tell me more…
Me: Well…. you’re playful and funny and you always make me smile.
Me: And you are warm and cuddly and you run fast and…
Beau: I’m a majestic swimmr. Right.
Me: (pausing…) Yes Beau.
Beau: You don’t sound very convincing Louise. Say it.
Me: Say what?
Beau: Say I’m a majestic swimmer.
Me: (mumbling my words) You’re a maaaajjjjeeestiiic swimmer.
Beau: Definitely not convincing.
Me: Why do you want to be called a majestic swimmer Beau:
Beau: Well… if you see me as majestic as the moose maybe you’d let me go out and play with him.
Me: Not happening.
Beau: Why not?
Me: Well… for starters. He’s a wild beast and while he instills awe in me he also scares me ’cause he’s so big and unpredictable and wild.
Beau: And what am I? Chopped liver?
Me: No Beau. You’re my special boy.
Beau: What about special majestic boy?
Me: (sigh) Okay Beau. You are my special majestic boy.
Beau: Much better. Now… can I go out and play with the moose?
Me: (Sigh.) You really don’t give up, do you?
Beau: Why would I? You know I always get my way. Right?
Me: (sigh) Not with the moose Beau. Never with the moose.
Even I know when I have to stand strong to protect my boy.
And yes, there was a moose in our backyard last week. He spent awhile traispsing across the lawn, jumped the fence and then spent time munching on the foliage in the trees that line the riverbank.
It was really quite a spectacular sight!
Beau: Oh. And by the way… This is my blog not the “Beau and the Moose” blog. In future, please refrain from sharing photos of majestic beasts other than me.
Sigh… He really does get in the last word. Always.