Me:  Beaumont!  Is that a moose leg bone in the bed? Beau:  What about it? Me:  I go take a shower and you bring that thing onto the bed? Ugh. Disgusting. Beau:  My dad said it was ok. Me:  I repeat. Ugh. Disgusting. Please remove it. Beau:  Nah. I like it. But, (smiling slyly) if it bothers you that much... Continue Reading →

Me: Beaumont Beau:  (innocently) W'az up? Me:  Don't you w'za up me. You know. Beau: Know what? Me:  There's a ball on the bed. Beau:  A ball? Hmmm....  I don't see a ball. Me:  I do. Beau: Then close your eyes. Go back to sleep. You won’t see it anymore. Me: I can’t. I’ll still... Continue Reading →

  Me:  Beaumont? Beau:  Whaaaat? Me:  Why are you hiding in the kitchen? Beau:  I'm not. Me:  Then what are you doing? Beau:  Waiting. Me:  For what? Beau:  Not 'for what'.  For who. Me:  (Sigh)  Whom. Beau:  What? Me:  The proper way to say it is, For whom. Beau:  Who. Whom.  Doesn't matter. What matters is my buddy, Rod, said he might... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  Excuse me?  You've come back to bed. What's with this? Me:  Well.  We had a late night. I got up early to clean up the kitchen from our dinner party and now I need a nap. Beaumont:  And I'm just supposed to lie here and take it? Me:  I'd prefer it if you didn't lie right on top... Continue Reading →

Beau: Can I just say something? Me: You're sitting on my chest. Do I have a choice? Beaumont: No. Anyway. It is 8am already and you are still not up. What's a dog to do to get your attention? Me: Well sitting on me works. Beaumont: Good I need to go out. Me: Ask your... Continue Reading →

Beaumont:  Seroiusly? Did you have to cut it so short? Me:  It was your dad's decision. Beau:  Ha!  You're the one who came to pick me up at the hairdressers. You're the one who paid for this atrocity. Me:  It's not an atrocity. Beau:  Yeah? Well you be the one walking around as if you're in your birthday suit. Me:  It's... Continue Reading →

Me:  So... Beaumont.  What do you have to say for yourself? Beaumont:    Say what? Me:  Did something happen at the river today that you need to tell me about? Beau:  Nah.  I'm good. Me:  That's debatable.  What do you have to tell me? Beau:  Who told you? Me:  Your dad. Beau:  Fink. Me:  Beau. He was looking after your best interests... Continue Reading →

Me:  Beaumont. You're not a blanket. Beau:  I'm not a doormat either. Me:  What has that got to do with anything? Beau:  Well. You seem to be intent on defining what I'm not, so I'm just helping out. Me:  You're cheeky. Beau:  No. Actually. I'm a dog. Man's best friend in fact. Me:  How is lying on top of your dad making... Continue Reading →

Me:  Beaumont. What are you doing? Beau:  Helping my dad type a text. Me:  You can't type. Beau:  Says who? Me:  Well.... keyboards are designed for fingers not paws. Beau:  Details. Schmetails. I can still help. Me:  You mean interfere. Beau:  You say interfere. I say helping. Me:  I say 'get off the couch'. Beau: ... Continue Reading →