Me: Beaumont. The ball is right beside your foot. Beau: I know that. Me: Then why aren't you picking it up? Beau: Why aren't you coming to get it while I munch on some grass? Me: Because you're not supposed to eat grass? Beau: And you're not supposed to criticize, condemn and complain. Me: I'm... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: So.... I suppose I should wish you Happy Mother's Day. Me: That's lovely Beau. Thank you. Beau: You know, you're really the only mother I've ever known Louise. I don't remember my birth mother. She gave me up so young. Me: She had no choice Beau. Beau: But aren't you the one who says... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: So.... are we finally back to regular programming, Louise? Me: Yes Beau. Beau: Good. So can we please get rid of the 'artsy' photo too? Me: What do you mean? I like it! Beau: But it doesn't really do me justice now does it? Me: I think it does. Beau: Well... we all know... Continue Reading →
Well, how d'ya like these dawg-ples folks? She thinks just because she's taken off to see those Littles it's okay to A) not post my wisdom words until the afternoon (I even had to call her and tell her to get it done!) and B) To usurp my place of honour with this stuffed abomination... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: I don't get it. Me: Get what Beau? Beau: Why I can't come in. Me: I'm going to the bathroom Beau. I would like to go alone. Beau: You don't let me go alone. Me: That's different. Beau: Different how? Me: Well... you go outside. There's no door. Beau: BNNNNNNEEEEEEHHHH! (that's the sound of... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. Is there a reason you're sitting staring out the patio door? Beau: Is there a reason we're sitting inside on such a beautiful day? Me: It's not polite to answer a question with a question. Beau: It's not polite to ask questions you already know the answer to. Me: It's also bad grammar... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont. What are you looking at? Beau: Not looking at. Watching for. Me: Oh. There's a difference? Beau: Oh you wordsmith you, Louise. Of course there's a difference. Me: Ok. I'll bite. What's the difference. Beau: Well... using the phrase "I'll bite" with a dawg is an example of you looking for trouble. Me:... Continue Reading →
Me: Beaumont? Did you just do something to put yourself on Santa's naughty list? Beau: Who? Me? No. Never. Me: What's that between your paws? Beau: What? This ole' thing? I found it... Me: Found it? Beau: Yup. It was just lying there. Discarded. On the floor... Me: You mean under the Christmas tree. Beau:... Continue Reading →
Beaumont: Louise, we need to talk. Me: Uh huh. About what? Beau: Like you don't know. Me: Ummm. Beau. No I don't. Beau: Yes you do. Me: (sighing) Honestly Beau. I don't. I can't read your mind. Beau: Really? And all this time I thought that's how you wrote these conversations. By reading my mind.... Continue Reading →
I awaken (before dawn) to Beaumont sitting by my side of the bed, staring at me. And I mean staring! Beaumont: Grrrrrr..... Me: Use your words Beau. Beau: I'm a dawg. I don't have words. I have sounds. Me: Do we have to argue about this right now? I'm sleeping. Beau: You gotta wake-up. Me:... Continue Reading →
