Beaumont: You’re not really thinking of playing that card are you?
Me: Beau. Let him play whatever card he wants.
Beau: You’re just saying that because you want to win.
Beau: It’s not all about winning you know.
Me: When I’m playing Crib with your dad it most definitely is all about winning.
Beau: What about the ‘it’s so important to spend time together‘ and ‘let’s just enjoy eachother’s company‘ schtick? Remember, the one you used to get him to not watch the hockey game?
Me: What about it?
Beau: Well, you did kind of lay it on thick to get your way. Just sayin’…
Me: Don’t be ridiculous. C.C. wanted to spend the evening with me playing cards.
Beau: Uh Huh. Just like he wants to go to Ikea on a Sunday afternoon when the future of mankind is being played out on a football field.
Me: It’s just a game.
Beau: Uh Huh. So is Crib. Just a game.
Me: That’s different. It wasn’t just about the game. It was about spending the evening together.
Beau: Well, you could watch the game this afternoon with him instead of going to Ikea. That would be spending time together too.
Me: Oh no you don’t. .
Beau: Don’t what?
Me: Manipulate me.
Beau: (smiling sweetly) Like you didn’t manipulate C.C. to get him to play Crib?
Me: Fine. I get your point. I won’t make him go to Ikea with me this afternoon.
Beau: And you’ll watch the game with him?
Me: Maybe the last period.
Beau: Wrong game. Hockey has periods. Football has quarters.
Me: Wow. I can’t win with you can I?
Beau: Good girl. Now you’re catching on. See you in front of the TV later?
Me: As long as you don’t bark at the horse when it runs down the field every time Calgary scores a touchdown.
Beau: I make no promises. I’m an enthusiastic fan!
Me: You bark. I walk. Got it?
Beau: Hmmm…. That there is one of those “I can’t lose’ propositions.
Me: How so?
Beau: Well no matter how you cut it, I win. I get to watch the game with you and my dad. And if I bark… you take me for a walk, ’cause I know you won’t be walking alone. Bark. Walk. Bark. Walk. I like how this is shaping up.
Me: You know you’re obnoxious when you’re smug?
Beau: Hey! I just call it the way I see it. And by the way, my smugness is nothing compared to your poutiness when you lose. Just sayin’.
Me: Watch it. I might change my mind.
Beau: Doesn’t matter. Remember? I’ve got the winning hand. Bark. Walk. Bark. Walk.
AAARRRGH!!!!! There’s no winning with this guy. He holds all the cards and knows how to play ’em to always get the upper hand!
And BTW. I did win at Crib. At least one game out of the three…