Beaumont: So…. explain to me again… why is she here?
Me: Because her mom and dad are away.
Beau: That still doesn’t explain why she’s HERE. In my home.
Me: She had nowhere else to go.
Beau: She could have gone to a cat spa. Or maybe, camped out along the river.
Me: Beau. That’s not nice.
Beau: It’s not nice having my home invaded by a feline who hisses and swats at me everytime I walk past.
Me: Well… actually. You don’t just ‘walk’ past. You tend to stick your nose up her rear end or put your paw on her back as if to push her to the ground.
Beau: I’m a dawg. That’s what dawg’s do.
Me: She’s a cat Beau. Not a toy.
Beau: Believe me. I don’t think she’s a toy. I just think she’s a nuisance.
Me: Be nice.
Beau: Why? Was it nice of you to leave me for a month and not even bring me back a gift.
Me: Oh Beau. Are we back to that conversation?
Beau: Did we ever leave it?
Me: Good point. What’s it going to take for you to get over it?
Beau: I’ll let you know… in a month or two.
Me: Right. Thanks.
Beau: You’re welcome. Now… back to that feline nuisance. When is she leaving?
Me: Wednesday night.
Beau: That’s forever away!
Me: It’s three days.
Beau: Told you. Forever.
Me: (sigh) Can you be nice ’til then?
Beau: I’m always nice. It’s just you don’t appreciate my sensitivities.
Me: Fine. Can you put aside your sensitivities for three days.
Beau: Can you promise to buy me some of those really good treats I like?
Me: That’s bribery!
Beau: Nah. It’s creative negotiation. You want something. I’m telling you what it’ll take to get it.
Me: Fine. You win.
Beau: Of course I do.