Beau: Oh Dawg… What now?
Me: You know exactly what I mean.
Beau: Hey lady. I’m just a dawg. You gotta spell it out.
Me: How many times do we have to have this conversation?
Beau: Which conversation would that be?
Me: The one about you lying on my pillow, taking up my side of the bed.
Beau: What? We’ve had this conversation before?
Me: Beaumont. You know we have.
Beau: I know no such thing.
Me: Of course you do. We just had this conversation a couple of weeks ago.
Beau: Really? In dog year’s, that’s a lifetime ago.
Me: Don’t give me that. You always remember where you buried your bone. You can remember a simple conversation about sleeping on my pillow.
Beau: Nope. Remember. I’m the dog. You’re the human. You’re the one who keeps track of wrongs and rights and likes to remind others of their mis-doings.
Me: Then how is it the minute I get out of bed, you jump up and take over my side?
Beau: You left. I see an opportunity. I take it.
Me: Well you can’t take over my side of the bed.
Beau: How human of you. Staking out your territory. Claiming your turf and not sharing.
Me: Don’t give me that. What do you think you’re doing when you lift your leg and pee against every pole, tree and bush.
Beau: Letting my fellow dawgfolk know I’ve been here.
Me: Hah! You’re claiming your turf.
Beau: Lady. Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?
Me: No! And don’t try to change the subject.
Beau: Well, as far as I can tell the subject is, why are you so pissy this morning?
Me: I. Am. Not. Pissy.
Beau: Methinks you need to come back to bed. C’mon. I’ll move over a little so you can come and cuddle.
Me: I don’t want you to move over. I want you to get off the bed.
Beau: Now. Now. Louise. Take a breath. And just crawl in beside ole’ lover boy here. I’ll lick your face and make you feel all happy inside.
Me: I’ll feel happy inside when you get off the bed.
Beau: Not happening. But look. I made you a little room.
Me: Please? Get off the bed.
Beau: C’mon Louise. Come cuddle up. You know you want to.
Sigh. And so… Beau moved to the middle of the bed, sprawling full length between C.C. and me and we pet him from both sides. Exactly what he wanted in the first place.
I don’t get it. How does he always get his way? 🙂
Oh. And for the record. I’m not pissy. I just may have been tired of letting sleeping dogs lie when I wanted to come back to bed for a little extra sleep myself! So there. 🙂