Beaumont: Dad. We gotta talk.
C.C.: Of course. I’m here for you Beau.
Beau: Sigh. It’s nice you’re here for me dad ’cause I don’t know where in the world my mom is.
C.C.: She’s out on the coast. Visiting her grandson. Remember. I told you.
Beau: But didn’t she just get back from seeing him?
C.C. Yes, Beau. She did. But she wanted to see him again.
Beau: But dad. What about me? Doesn’t she want to see me too?
C.C. Of course she does Beau. But… well… she’s a woman.
Beau: What’s that supposed to mean?
C.C.: Well…. It means she’s not like us Beau. She’s… ummm… not a man. She’s different.
Beau: Harrumph. Well, why can’t she be more like a man?
C.C.: Well that my friend is a question of the ages. I don’t think there’s an answer to that one. At least not one I’m willing to posit.
Beau: Well posit this. If she was more like a man she’d stand with her man and his best friend and not go galvinating all over the countryside whenever she felt like it.
C.C.: Beau my friend, you make a lot of sense. But I think it’s safest if we don’t bring that up when she gets home.
Beau: Then what can I bring up?
C.C.: How about how much you missed her and happy you are she’s home?
Beau: Sounds kind of woosie to me.
C.C.: Would you rather sound woosie or sleep in the dog house?
Beau: I get your point. (pause) Dad?
C.C.: Yes Beau?
Beau: I’m glad we had this chat.
C.C.: Me too Beau. Me too.
Beau: So. Seeing as it’s just us boys here this weekend…. do you think I can have the bone from your steak after dinner tonight?
C.C. You know what your mom said about you having bones, Beau.
Beau: Hey dad. She’s not here. Remember.
C.C.: You got a point Beau. As long as you promise not to tell, the bone is yours!
Beau: Mom’s the word, dad. Mom’s the word.
And so, my two men bonded over a steak bone and the mistaken belief I am none the wiser as to what they’re really up to while I’m away!