Can We Talk?

Beaumont:  Dad. We gotta talk.

C.C.:  Of course. I’m here for you Beau.

Beau:  Sigh.  It’s nice you’re here for me dad ’cause I don’t know where in the world my mom is.

C.C.:  She’s out on the coast. Visiting her grandson. Remember. I told you.

Beau:  But didn’t she just get back from seeing him?

C.C.  Yes, Beau. She did. But she wanted to see him again.

Beau:  But dad. What about me? Doesn’t she want to see me too?

C.C.  Of course she does Beau. But… well… she’s a woman.

Beau:  What’s that supposed to mean?

C.C.:  Well…. It means she’s not like us Beau. She’s… ummm… not a man. She’s different.

Beau:  Harrumph. Well, why can’t she be more like a man?

C.C.:  Well that my friend is a question of the ages. I don’t think there’s an answer to that one. At least not one I’m willing to posit.

Beau:   Well posit this. If she was more like a man she’d stand with her man and his best friend and not go galvinating all over the countryside whenever she felt like it.

C.C.:  Beau my friend, you make a lot of sense. But I think it’s safest if we don’t bring that up when she gets home.

Beau:  Then what can I bring up?

C.C.:  How about how much you missed her and happy you are she’s home?

Beau:  Sounds kind of woosie to me.

C.C.:  Would you rather sound woosie or sleep in the dog house?

Beau:  I get your point. (pause) Dad?

C.C.:  Yes Beau?

Beau:  I’m glad we had this chat.

C.C.:  Me too Beau. Me too.

Beau:  So. Seeing as it’s just us boys here this weekend…. do you think I can have the bone from your steak after dinner tonight?

C.C.  You know what your mom said about you having bones, Beau.

Beau:  Hey dad. She’s not here. Remember.

C.C.:  You got a point Beau. As long as you promise not to tell, the bone is yours!

Beau:  Mom’s the word, dad. Mom’s the word.

And so, my two men bonded over a steak bone and the mistaken belief I am none the wiser as to what they’re really up to while I’m away!