Me: Would you please stop moving.
Beau: What for?
Me: Watch your English.
Beau: What for? I’m a Dawg. I don’t care about Engligh and I definitely don’t understand requests that make no sense to me. Be specific. Use your words. What do you want?
Me: (Sigh) Right. (taking a breath…) Beaumont, would you please stand still so I can get your photo in the flowers.
Beau: What if I don’t want my picture taken in the flowers?
Me: Don’t you want to see how cute you are?
Beau: I know how cute I am.
Me: Well aren’t you just the confident one.
Beau: Yes I am. I’m a Dawg and I’m happy with who I am. You might want to try it.
Me: Try what? (cutely… I think) Being a Dawg?
Beau: (gives The Look) You could never be a Dawg. You’re too caught up in all your human schtick to be cool like a Dawg. But… maybe if you spent more time being confident about who you are, instead of trying to be someone you’re not, like a nature photographer, you wouldn’t have to spend so much time taking shaky photos of cute li’l ‘ole me and instead, would do what humans are supposed to do. Throw the ball so I can chase it.
Me: Beau. Please. Just one photo.
Beau: You know it’s gonna be blurry, right?
Me: No. I don’t.
Beau: I’m confident of it.
Sigh. And of course, he was right. But seriously… doesn’t he just look so dang cute in the flowers?