Dear Ann Landers,
It’s Beaumont the Sheepadoodle here and I really need your advice.
So, my mom says she’s too busy to share our conversations right now on my blog. It seems her galavanting around without me is a priority. Harrumph.
Last weekend she went to Canmore for a three day getaway and then this weekend, she’s off to some place called The Little Yoho to spend time with my human sis, Lele.
And can you believe it! She’s not taking me.
Why would she go somewhere where she can’t take her best friend?
I don’t get it.
She says she loves me. I’m her favourite Beau and all that, and then she takes off. Without me.
I mean. Really. She’ll get back from the Little Yoho (weird name don’t you think? Apparently there’s even a Falls with a weirder name, Takaka Falls and where she’s going there’s no Internet even!) Anyway, where was I? Right. She comes home from the weekend on Sunday night and off she goes on Wednesday to visit that little guy, Thurlow, her ‘grandson’ again. For a whole friggin’ week. Without me. He seems to be a bigggg draw. She’s always showing off photos of him. Used to be she had more photos of me on her phone and now… I’ve been displaced.
I’m beginning to think she’s kind of fickle and I might just need to find me some other human to love all over me. I’d call my friend Rod but she won’t give me his number.
What’d’ya think Ann? Is this dame too lame for the Beau-meister?
I mean, she’s cute and all that jazz but dawggone it, I’m her Beau. How can she desert me like this?
Yours in lonely contemplation of my place in the doghouse,
PS. Please excuse any typing errors. My paws are kind of big for the keyboard and I had to sneak onto her laptop to write to you. Again, she’s abandoning her duties as scribe!
Beaumont my friend come up to my house anytime got lots of room for you and I will be talking to your human louise about not giving you my number my friend
Hey Rod Buddy! I’m in. I’ll see if I can steal my mom’s credit card and book me a one way ticket north!
Oh wait. North. Like… are you near the North Pole? Will I meet Santa? Will he give me treats? Oh… and about those Elk Bones… I know my Doc says I shouldn’t but what happens in the north stays in the north… Right?
My dear lovable Beaumont (and we have not formally met), if only we were living closer to each other and not so many provinces apart, you would be welcome to saunter over for a slurp of water (water-filled bowl on the porch, refreshed twice daily for our four-legged neighbours), a treat or two (Bone Appétit tin on the window sill) anytime. But alas, distance of wide open spaces, prairie fields of golden wheat billowing in the summer’s end breeze, endless mikes of untouched forests and those Canadian lakes and rivers of pristine waters separate us. Wait, we shall meet in a mere few weeks or so! Meanwhile, don’t despair. Your human is on a rejuvenation journey, testing her yet unfound streams of creativity, pushing boundaries where she did not know she even had some. So sit tight my furry Friend with the most gorgeous doleful eyes ever encountered by mankind, she will return – to you! Patience is a virtue few know how to endure, but the reward is worth the wait.
Dear Ms Iwona,
I hear ya’ sistah but dawggone it, does she have to leave me behind on this rejuvenatin’ thingie? I’m a great companion on any road! I do look forward to meeting you soon.
Please bring treats, hugs and lots and lots of cuddles.
In loving anticipation of some attention,