Me: Beaumont. Why are you just standing there?
Beau: I’m waiting.
Me: Waiting for what?
Beau: For you to throw the ball.
Me: I didn’t bring it.
Beau: Then I’m waiting for you to explain why not. And it better be good.
Me: Because there’s lots of snow on the ground and you always lose it in the snow.
Beau: Excuse me? You’re blaming your poor throwing skills on me.
Me: I throw just fine.
Beau: You may throw fine but you sure don’t throw with any skill. The ball always goes in mysterious directions.
Me: You’re the dog. You’re supposed to be able to retrieve it, no matter where I throw it.
Beau: I’m a dawg. Not a magician.
Me: Well I’m a human. Not a baseball player.
Beau: It doesn’t take a baseball player to throw the ball in a straight line.
Me: Fine. Then I didn’t bring the ball because no matter where I aim to throw it, the ball will go where ever it wants.
Beau: It’s important you be accountable for your own failures Louise.
Me: It’s not a failure. It’s a skill I’m lacking.
Beau: Ahh. Good. Now we’re getting somewhere. Are you willing to admit it’s your poor ball throwing skills, not my ball-finding skills, that are the problem?
Me: Fine. Yes.
Beau: Then say it out loud.
Me: (sigh) Fine. The reason I didn’t bring the ball is because I cant throw it in a straight line which makes it hard for you to find it in the snow.
Me: Excuse me? Why is that impossible.
Beau: Your throwing skills don’t make it hard for me to find the ball in the snow. They make it impossible for me to find it.
Me: Fine. I didn’t bring the ball because my ball throwing skills, or lack thereof, make it impossible for you to find the ball in the snow.
Beau: Well done Louise. Now, don’t you feel better for being honest about your limitations?
Me: (another sigh) Yes Beau.
Beau: Good. Now quit standing around and let’s get walking. There’s a lot of good smells out here to explore and snowflakes to chase!
And so, Beau and I spent an hour at the park, playing in the snow, without the ball. I hope he’s happy!
Me. I’m not so happy. It’s September and it’s snowing. I mean… seriously.