To Throw or Not to Throw.

Me:  Beaumont.  Why are you just standing there?

Beau:  I’m waiting.

Me:  Waiting for what?

Beau:  For you to throw the ball.

Me:  I didn’t bring it.

Beau:  Then I’m waiting for you to explain why not. And it better be good.

Me:  Because there’s lots of snow on the ground and you always lose it in the snow.

Beau:  Excuse me?  You’re blaming your poor throwing skills on me.

Me:  I throw just fine.

Beau:  You may throw fine but you sure don’t throw with any skill. The ball always goes in mysterious directions.

Me:  You’re the dog. You’re supposed to be able to retrieve it, no matter where I throw it.

Beau:  I’m a dawg. Not a magician.

Me:  Well I’m a human. Not a baseball player.

Beau:  It doesn’t take a baseball player to throw the ball in a straight line.

Me:  Fine. Then I didn’t bring the ball because no matter where I aim to throw it, the ball will go where ever it wants.

Beau:  It’s important you be accountable for your own failures Louise.

Me:  It’s not a failure. It’s a skill I’m lacking.

Beau:  Ahh. Good. Now we’re getting somewhere. Are you willing to admit it’s your poor ball throwing skills, not my ball-finding skills, that are the problem?

Me:  Fine. Yes.

Beau:  Then say it out loud.

Me:   (sigh)  Fine. The reason I didn’t bring the ball is because I cant throw it in a straight line which makes it hard for you to find it in the snow.

Beau:  Impossible.

Me:  Excuse me?  Why is that impossible.

Beau:  Your throwing skills don’t make it hard for me to find the ball in the snow. They make it impossible for me to find it.

Me:  Fine.  I didn’t bring the ball because my ball throwing skills, or lack thereof, make it impossible for you to find the ball in the snow.

Beau:  Well done Louise. Now, don’t you feel better for being honest about your limitations?

Me:  (another sigh)  Yes Beau.

Beau:  Good. Now quit standing around and let’s get walking. There’s a lot of good smells out here to explore and snowflakes to chase!

And so, Beau and I spent an hour at the park, playing in the snow, without the ball. I hope he’s happy!

Me. I’m not so happy. It’s September and it’s snowing. I mean… seriously.