Beaumont: Oh man, lady. You are in such doodoo I don’t think you’ll ever get out from under it!
Me: Why’s that?
Beau: As if you don’t know.
Me: Remember. I’m just a mere human. And a woman at that. Spell it out for me.
Beau: Playing dumb doesn’t become you.
Me: I’m not playing dumb. I’m just trying to not assume I know what you’re talking about.
Beau: Whether you assume or not, you’re still going to look like an ass.
Me: Beaumont. Don’t be rude.
Beau: And you don’t think it’s rude to miss writing my blog two Sundays in a row?
Me: I didn’t miss two.
Beau: Lady. You need to go back to school to learn how to count.
Me: Oh oh. (checking the post dates) You’re right.
Beau: You sound surprised. Of course I’m right. It’s just doggone shameful you think it’s okay to just take off and not do your job.
Me: It was an accident.
Beau: Would you accept it’s an accident if I forget my manners and pee on the floor.
Me: Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not the same thing.
Beau: Well you got that right. I pee outside out of respect. Not posting my blog is a form of disrespect.
Me: That’s a bit harsh.
Beau: Hey. If the truth feels harsh you might want to go look in the mirror rather than attack the truth-teller. Maybe it’s time to ask what you can do differently.
Me: (sigh) Fine. What can I do differently?
Beau: Be accountable for your actions.
Me: (sighing again) Fine. I missed posting your blog two Sundays in a row. I apologize.
Beau: And what do you plan on doing to make amends?
Me: I’m sure you’ll tell me.
Beau: Take this ridiculous coat off me.
Me: Well I can’t take the coat off you because you’ll lick the incision where they took out the cyst and that would not be good.
Beau: How long do I have to wear it?
Me: Another three days.
Beau: Fine. Then to make amends, between now and then, you can give me steak for dinner every day and buy me my favourite treats and let’s see…
Me: Don’t you think that’s enough?
Beau: hey lady you’re the one who asked what you needed to do to make the amends. I’m just telling you what’s needed.
Me: Fine. But I think that’s enough.
Beau: We’ll see. We’ll see. For now, go get me a treat. Oh. And scratch my back would ya’? And, when you sign off don’t forget to apologize to my fans. I’m sure they missed me.
Sigh. Beaumont is a demanding dawg!
For those who wondered, he had a cyst on his back that kept growing so we had his favourite vet, Amelia at Glamorgan Animal Clinic take it out. It’s a good thing. It was getting bigger because it was a hair growing inward!
He’s not impressed he has to wear a jacket all the time. But it’s for his own good. I promise!
And yes. I do apologize. Please let him know.