Beau: So… let me get this straight. You can’t put a photo of TW up that shows his face because he asked you not to, and I don’t get a say as to what photo you put up of me?
Me: Well, of course you can have a say.
Beau: Like it will make a difference.
Me: Well there is that. It probably won’t.
Beau: Do you have any idea how ignoble it is to have a photo of me being carried around like a baby for all the world to see?
Me: Well, the Christmas tree looks pretty and you look cute!
Beau: Babies beside Christmas trees are cute. Dawgs like me need to maintain our coolness and humans like you are meant to preserve and protect our coolness.
Me: Until you get caught hanging out in TW’s arms you mean.
Beau: That’s not cool. I let him pick me up because I like the dude. What I don’t like is you taking photos of me in compromising positions.
Me: Beau. It’s not that bad.
Beau: You’re not the one being hauled around like a baby and then having your photo posted on social media. This is not my brand.
Me: You have a ‘brand’?
Beau: Of course I do.
Me: So…. What is it?
Beau: My brand?
Me: Yes. Your ‘brand’. (I admit — said without trying to snicker too much or roll my eyes.)
Beau: It projects a sense of strength, virility, presence. It speaks to how I am deeply embedded in the Masculine while acknowledging the duality of all life that is founded in the balance between living in harmony within the Feminine. I’m complex – there’s nothing simplistic about how I see the world and yet, there’s a delightfully intriguing measure of playfulness beneath the sincerity of my voice and presentation.
Me: Oh… I see… (struggling to stay serious and not laugh – don’t judge me) So…. shouldn’t we have talked about this before I started posting your blogs?
Beau: We did.
Me: We did?
Beau: Of course we did. I told you I wanted my posts to reflect how charming, intelligent and caring I am. Don’t you remember?
Me: Well, kind of. But I thought you said you wanted your blog to make people smile.
Beau: Yes. I did. But people don’t smile at stupid. They only laugh. And there you are posting a photo that is going to make everyone laugh at me. Not with me.
Me: Well, I think that photo will make them laugh with you.
Beau: Or feel really sorry for me for having a human who takes photos of me in compromising positions and then posts said photo on Social Media. I think I need to speak to my lawyer.
Me: You don’t have a lawyer.
Beau: I didn’t but I sure as heck plan on getting one now.
Me: Oh dear. What can I do to make this better?
Beau: Never have made it this way in the first place?
Me: What if I take the blog down?
Beau: Well that would be a stupid thing to do. I’d lose my evidence of your maltreatment.
Me: Oh. Right. So what do you want me to do?
Beau: Think before you post.
Me: I always do that.
Beau: Well look at you living in the la-la-land of denial and make-believe.
Me: Beau…. don’t be rude.
Beau: You want rude? Take a look at the photo you posted of me. Now that’s rude.
Me: Okay. Okay. I get your point. I’ll be more thoughtful next time.
Beau: Lady, there better not be a next time. This is my brand we’re talking about and you are walking a very fine line right now. Got it?
Me: Yes Beau. I ‘got it’.
Beau: Good. Now go get me one of those delicious bacon treats my dad bought me last week. Oh, and while you’re at it, how about scratching behind my ears and rubbing my belly. I’m in need of some big-time lovin’ after your latest debacle.
Sigh. I got it.
But seriously, whoever heard of a dog having a ‘Brand’. But then, there’s no dawg like Beau so I guess it kind of makes sense. He is his own brand of special.
And can I just say, the Christmas tree does look really pretty. 🙂