Psst! It’s me. Beaumont the Sheepadoodle.
I’m having to type this with my own two paws because, well… she has (once again) not posted on my blog on Sunday!
I mean, really. What’s with these humans? Can’t they tell time?
Come to think of it, if they can’t do math, how can they do time?
Like. Seriously. They’ve got this weird formula for dog years that uses x7 to compare a dog to a human. When really, a dog’s age isn’t about how old we are. It’s all about how wise and by a dog’s calculations, we are a gazillion times wiser than our human counterparts, no matter their age.
Take my blog posts for instance. ‘She’ thinks it’s okay to miss a Sunday when I know, it’s not. My readers have expectations of me and she keeps letting them down, and everyone knows, it’s not wise to let humans down. They’re fickle that way. Let them down once and, well, given their penchant for distraction and immediate gratification… well let’s just say they’ve got the attention span of… a human! Short. Temperamental. Easily distracted!
Not like us Dawgs.
We’re loyal and steadfast.
We don’t go find some other human to amuse us just because we’ve been disappointed (again) by your human frailties.
No. We stay true. You can count on us to be there in every kind of weather, in your every kind of mood.
So… back to my blog.
She missed Sunday.
Says it’s something to do with being tired.
You ask me, I think it’s more about being human. You know. That attention span thingie. She’s got Christmas on her mind and well, let’s just say, the human mind can’t think more than one thought at a time.
Not like us Dawgs. We can think many things at once and still, never lose our focus on what matters most. — Doing everything in our power to bring happiness and joy to our humans.
Like the pic of me with the ball in the bed.
I know. I know.
She’s got some rule about no balls on the bed. (She also had a rule about Dawgs on the bed but I fixed that one real fast.)
Right. So. Back to the ball on the bed.
It was just a hint. Like you know, the way advertisers put images of nachos and cheese and all sorts of foods on the screen right around the after-dinner time and you know you shouldn’t be eating because you just had dinner but there you go, jumping into your car, racing to the grocery store, raiding the junk food aisles without a thought to your arteries or waistline.
Short attention span. Am I right?
Forget about the diet. The gym. The promise to yourself to eat healthy. You saw those folks on the screen looking beautiful and svelte eating all that junkie stuff and wham! You’re hooked.
Well, the ball was my attention-grabbing trick to get her to get up and stop feeling so sorry for herself and play with me instead.
Alas folks. It didn’t work.
Her comfort came first.
There I was, being a good Dawg and putting her first. (No. Like Seriously. Sure, I’d love to run around but I was doing this for her! Dawg’s honour!) And, there she was, ignoring me and even telling me to “Get that filthy thing off the bed!”
I mean. You should have heard her!
Oh you humans.
You need to be more like us Dawgs.
We greet you at the door with slobbers and wags.
We sit by your side in every kind of temperament, under your every dark cloud, your every whim and we always, always love you. Even when you’re acting your most unlovable.
And all we ask in return?
Yup. Seriously. A Dawg doesn’t expect anything in return for his or her unconditional love.
Which is why….
Even though she didn’t post my blog yesterday.
Even though she didn’t pick up the hint and grab my leash so we could go to the park and play her tiredness out…
I will always love her.
I’m steadfast like that.
Yup. A real Dawg.
Though some days… I do wish she’d be a better human but hey! Who am I kidding? She can only be the human she is.
And I accept her. Warts and all.
That’s just the kind of Dawg I am.
PS. could someone please invent a keyboard that’s a little more paw-friendly. I mean, really? I don’t mind posting my own blog (believe me, you’d never miss a Sunday if I could). And, if I could, she’d be able to lay on the couch and eat bonbons to her heart’s content!
Yup. That’s just the kind of thoughtful, faithful companion I am.
Sigh. Guess a Dawg is just going to have to do what a Dawg does. Forgive. And Love. Forgive. And Love. Always.