Eggs Easy Over Please

Beaumont:  Hey Lady. Know what time it is?

Me:  Morning?

Beaumont:  Breakfast time!

Me:  I can’t get up.

Beau:  Why not?

Me:  You’re lying on top of me.

Beau:  That’s to wake you up.

Me:  All right already. I’m awake.

Beau:  Then, where’s my breakfast?

Me:  If you get off of me I’ll get it for you.

Beau:  You know, I shouldn’t have to lie on top of you to make you get up. You should care enough to want to get up in the morning to get me my breakfast.

Me:  Believe me. I do. It’s just I’m a wee bit tired after last night.

Beau:  Right. ‘Cause you had that big dinner party and poor little you… Had a wee bit too much to drink?

Me:  No! It’s just I was on my feet all day and then didn’t get to bed until too late.

Beau:  Enough with your excuses. Are you going to get up and get me breakfast?

Me:  If you get off of me I will.

Beau:  Will you quit making excuses and just do it?

Me:  Yes, Beau. I will.

Beau:  I’d like my eggs easy over please.

Me:  You don’t get eggs for breakfast.

Beau:  You mean like I didn’t get any Beef Wellington last night for dinner?

Me:  You’re a dog Beau. You don’t eat human food.

Beau:  Who makes my food?

Me:  It comes from a factory.

Beau:  And who works in the factory?

Me: (slowly…) People…

Beau:  And so, once again, I prove how wrong you are. If people make my food then I eat human food. So be a good girl and go make me some eggs and bacon.

Sigh.  To be clear. I do not feed Beau eggs and bacon but dawggone it, I sure would like to win an argument with him one day… Sigh. A girl can dream….

In the meantime, gotta go make him breakfast.