Beaumont: Hey Lady. Know what time it is?
Beaumont: Breakfast time!
Me: I can’t get up.
Beau: Why not?
Me: You’re lying on top of me.
Beau: That’s to wake you up.
Me: All right already. I’m awake.
Beau: Then, where’s my breakfast?
Me: If you get off of me I’ll get it for you.
Beau: You know, I shouldn’t have to lie on top of you to make you get up. You should care enough to want to get up in the morning to get me my breakfast.
Me: Believe me. I do. It’s just I’m a wee bit tired after last night.
Beau: Right. ‘Cause you had that big dinner party and poor little you… Had a wee bit too much to drink?
Me: No! It’s just I was on my feet all day and then didn’t get to bed until too late.
Beau: Enough with your excuses. Are you going to get up and get me breakfast?
Me: If you get off of me I will.
Beau: Will you quit making excuses and just do it?
Me: Yes, Beau. I will.
Beau: I’d like my eggs easy over please.
Me: You don’t get eggs for breakfast.
Beau: You mean like I didn’t get any Beef Wellington last night for dinner?
Me: You’re a dog Beau. You don’t eat human food.
Beau: Who makes my food?
Me: It comes from a factory.
Beau: And who works in the factory?
Me: (slowly…) People…
Beau: And so, once again, I prove how wrong you are. If people make my food then I eat human food. So be a good girl and go make me some eggs and bacon.
Sigh. To be clear. I do not feed Beau eggs and bacon but dawggone it, I sure would like to win an argument with him one day… Sigh. A girl can dream….
In the meantime, gotta go make him breakfast.
Growing up on a dairy farm my dog got leftovers all the time. He routinely had leftover porridge but only at the parts that had cream on it so of course he got extra cream on the porridge. I mean hey it was free. He was never over weight at all and lived a long life.
Only ATE the parts not AT