Hello? Anybody there? Ya. It’s me. Beaumont. On my own. She’s done it. Again. Taken off for parts unknown and left me behind.
Sigh. What’s a dawg to do to get a little attention around here? Like I lay on top of her in an effort to keep her warm. I follow her all over the house so she doesn’t feel lonely. I fetch the ball for her so she can get some exercise. I even drop my dumps so she can pick them up (bending over is good for older folks (know what I mean?), though why she’d want to keep them in those little baggies is beyond this dawg’s ken. Seriously? What is with that?
Hoomans can be so weird but hey! She’s my hooman and I do love her. But dawg oh dawg. Does she have to keep deserting me like this? She said it’s only for five days but seriously? Do the math lady. In dawg years that’s a whole month!
Apparently, the little hooman, you know the one who came onto this earth two years ago and seems to have captured much of her attention, is having a birthday so she flew off and left me behind.
And to top it all, she sends me a photo from the airport of some cute retriever whose wandering around the terminal with a sign on him that reads, “Pet Me’. Ha! Maybe when she gets home I’ll wear a sign that says, “Bite me”. (Just kidding. I don’t bite but I sure do feel the bites and arrows of her desertion!)
Ya. I know. I’m with my dad and all that jazz but here I am having to paw my way through typing my own blog this morning – and believe you me, with these paws it’s not that easy.
But, I couldn’t let my peeps down. Know what I mean? I’m a dawg of integrity and all that jazzy stuff she likes to spout as sooo important to livin’ a good life, but seriously, isn’t staying with the one’s you profess to love the most important?
Well, I’m telling you now. This ‘ole dawg is dawggone tired of being left behind like an old stick.
But hey! I know you my cyber friends are here for me. And I sure do appreciate your support. If I could, I’d give you one of my big famous licks right through this keyboard but while this ‘ole dawg is learnin’ new tricks everyday, that’s one trick I’ll never be able to master.
So, for now, my friends, this dawg is gonna go lie on her side of the bed and put my head on her pillow (she hates that you know — my head on her pillow. Apparently, I carry around a lot of dirt, so she says.) But heck, if she’s gonna fly away, again, like the old bird she is (don’t tell her I said that btw, she gets upset being called an old bird but I did the math, in dawg year’s she’d downright ancient!)… Right, where was I? Oh yeah. If she’s gonna fly away, then I am gonna lie on the bed where ever I dawg-well please!
Signed, yours in lonely wallowing on her side of the bed,