See. Ball. Go. Fetch.

Me: So… what are you waiting for?

Beaumont: For you to fetch the ball?

Me: Why don’t you?

Beau: Because you’re two feet away and can easily reach it?

Me: Was that a question or a statement?

Beau: Does it matter?

Me: Seriously Beau. You need to stop answering my questions with a question mark at the end of your statement.

Beau: Why?

Me: (Sigh) Because it’s annoying?

Beau: Now look who’s doing it!

Me: Can you please just fetch the ball?

Beau: I’m busy.

Me: Busy? Doing what?

Beau: You know. Taking time to smell the wildflowers and grasses. You might want to try it.

Me: I have. They’re lovely. Now please bring me the ball and I’ll throw it.

Beau: What if you just reach across the space between us and pick it up with that chuckie cheezie thing?

Me: It’s called a ‘Chucker’ Beau. No cheezies involved.

Beau: Too bad. I like cheezies.

Me: Has your dad been feeding you hooman food again?

Beau: Do bears poop in the woods?

Me: Another question to answer my question?

Beau: Sometimes, Louise, your questions are so obviously not questions they don’t warrant a straight answer.

Me: Do you ever give a straight answer?

Beau: I don’t understand? What’s a straight answer?

Me: You know. Like I ask you something and you give me a direct answer to my question and don’t twist it into some esoteric dissertation on the meaning of life or why I need to sniff the grass.

Beau: Well you need to you know.

Me: Need to what?

Beau: Stop and smell the roses, or at least the wildflowers.

Me: If I do can we please get on with our walk?

Beau: This is our walk Louise. Everything is part of the whole. You can’t separate this moment from the rest of the moments and pretend they’re not all connected. Everything is all embodied in the present.

Me: Where on earth do you come up with this stuff Beau?

Beau: You should know this stuff Louise. It’s all in that book you’re reading.

Me: Which book?

Beau: You know, Radical Wholeness. You left it open on the couch so I took a peek.

Me: Since when can you read?

Beau: Seriously? You’re asking me that while you’re typing a conversation where I’m speaking to you?

Me: Oh. Right. I guess you’ve got a point.

Beau: I’ve always got a point, Louise. Always. Now. please pick up the ball so we can continue on with our walk.

Me: I thought you said this was all part of our walk.

Beau: I was just trying to make a point Louise. Don’t get all caught up in the words. Just stay in the moment. Remember?

Sigh. And so, I picked up the ball and we continued on with our walk which was all part of the moment before I picked up the ball.

Seriously? Who taught him how to read?

Oh well. I did stop to take this photo of the wildflowers. That does count as stopping to smell them… right?