Beaumont: Louise. I’m confused.
Me: Oh dear. What now Beau?
Beau: Excuse me, but that is not an appropriate response to my comment.
Me: What? You’re the comment police now?
Beau: No. But I do serve as your conscience.
Me: (sigh) I don’t need you to ‘serve’ as my conscience Beau. I’ve capable of doing that myself.
Beau: Well if that were the case, you wouldn’t act so unconscionably at times now would you?
Me: Oh Dawg. Can’t you ever give me a break?
Beau: I do. I let you take me to the park. I run after the ball when you throw it. I sit all pretty like and let strangers fuss over me and I don’t take treats from strangers, just like you taught me. I make room for you on the bed. I even let you brush me. I do all those things so you can have a break from your seemingly endless need to sit at your computer or in your studio.
Me: You let me brush you sometimes. And the response isn’t ‘what?’. It’s ‘pardon me?’.
Beau: I know that. I was just trying to bring you back to the original point of this conversation.
Me: There’s a point to it?
Beau: Yes Louise. There’s always a point to everything I say. And I notice you didn’t say anything about how I give you a break. Truth hurt?
Me: Not if it’s all true. But you only let me brush you sometimes. Not all the time. And it’s not such a good break ’cause you don’t make it easy.
Beau: Oh my. How hooman you are Louise. I give you a list of things I do for you that bring you joy and you find the one little area that isn’t perfect and put all your attention on that.
Me: (sighing. again.) Oh come off it Beau. I was just pointing out the obvious. You don’t make it easy to brush you.
Beau: And all the things I do to give you a break and bring you joy? What about them Louise?
Me: Sure. They count but I wasn’t talking about them.
Beau: Why not? Why wouldn’t you want to talk about the things that bring you joy instead of the things that frustrate or annoy you?
Me: (sighing) Because they’re not as important?
Beau: Oh my oh my Louise. You think focussing on one of my little flaws is more important than the joy I bring you?
Me: I didn’t say that!
Beau: You didn’t? Hmmm… you might want to go back and read what you said Louise.
Me: Fine. I meant I was just pointing out something you said that wasn’t all true.
Beau: And everything you say is all true all the time Louise?
Me: Can we PUHLEASE…. just get back to the point of this conversation?
Beau: Not until you tell me what’s making you all out of sorts today. Get up on the wrong side of the bed?
Me: No. Beau. I did not.
Beau: Care to talk about it?
Me: About what?
Beau: Oh my. You hoomans can be sooo obtuse sometimes. Why you’re so out of sorts.
Me: I told you. I. Am. Not. Out. Of. Sorts.
Beau: You know how you use that thingie about communication being 93% verbal and all that jazz.
Me: It’s not a ‘thingie’. It’s a scientific fact.
Beau: Yeah. And what part of communication is attitude? ‘Cause you’re showing a lot of it right now.
Me: (sighing again. big time.) Well, if you weren’t so dogged in trying to pry into my unconscious I might not show quite so much attitude.
Beau: Oooohhhh. So there you go again being all hooman-like. Blaming me for your bad attitude.
Me: I. Do. Not. Have. A. Bad. Attitude.
Beau: Coulda’ fooled me.
Me: I thought nothing fooled you Beau.
Beau: Now you’re talking. So let’s get your attitude straightened out. Let’s go to the park.
Me: Is that what this was all about? You want to go to the park?
Beau: Actually, it’s about whether or not you want to sit in your bad attitude or walk amongst nature. That’s the real question, Louise. Which do you choose? Bad attitude or joy?
Sigh. And so, Beau and I go to the park. And.. don’t tell him I said this… he was right. It helped. What I don’t gt is how he always knows when my attitude is out of whack?
Beau: I told you. When you’re acting without thought, I serve as your conscience. I thought after six years of being my hooman you would have figured that out by now.
Me: (sigh) I’m a slow learner?
Beau: Now you’re talkin’ fact! Know why we dawgs don’t spend as long on this planet as you hoomans? It takes us only a fraction of the time to experience and learn the lessons of life. You hoomans… you said it Louise… slow learners. Every one of you. Slow learners.
Dang. He did it again. He might not be an old dawg but he sure can teach me some new tricks! Every time.
And as to my attitude… It always happens with Daylight Savings. I guess it’s just another example of how we hoomans are slow learners. We’ve been doing it every spring for years and every spring it feels the same. Yucky.