Beaumont: Louise, I am really not happy with you.
Me: Oh. Why’s that Beau?
Beau: Do I really need to tell you?
Me: If you want me to know what you’re thinking. Yes.
Beau: Seriously Louise. You expect me (and my fans) to believe you don’t know what I’m thinking when you write these posts every Sunday.
Me: Yes Beau. I do.
Beau: Fine. Then I’ll tell you.
Me: Oh good. The suspense is killing me.
Beau: Ha! Sarcasm is for the lazy man. Or woman as the case may be.
Me: Fine. Can we just get on with it please. Tell me why you’re upset with me.
Beau: I understand you’re going away. Again.
Me: Oh that.
Beau: Yes. Oh that. You’re going away and you’re not taking me with you.
Me: Well…. that’s all true.
Beau: Care to explain yourself.
Beau: (making a Buzzer sound) NNNNNEEEEEEEEAAAAA
Me: Fine. Alexis needs my help. It’s been a long year for her and her husband with two little one’s and the fact they’re done almost complete isolation because of health concerns. They’ve had very little help and they’re both really tired and feeling a tad overwhelmed by it all. I’ve had my vaccination so I’m going to help out.
Beau: And not taking me with you.
Beau: And so I ask again. Care to explain yourself.
Me: C’mon Beau. You know why.
Beau: What I don’t understand is why someone else can’t go and help instead of you.
Me: Because I’m her mother and they’re my grandchildren and I haven’t seen Ivy since she was 2 months old and now she’s 10 months old and I even missed Thurlow’s 3rd birthday and…
Beau: Let me stop you right there. What about me?
Me: Well… I see you everyday and…
Beau: And what? I just have to sit here like a good little dawggie and wait for you to come home again?
Me: Haha! That’s quite the image Beau.
Beau: What’s that?
Me: You being the ‘good little dawggie’ type. Haha!
Beau: Well obviously you being the ‘good little hooman’ type isn’t going to happen either.
Me: Look Beau. Can we please call a truce. I really, really want to see my grandchildren without feeling guilty about you being left at home, pining and sulking.
Beau: Oh. Don’t you worry your pretty little hooman brain about me, Louise. I’ll be soaking up all the attention my dad hooman gives me. You know C.C. lets me sleep on the bed when you’re away right? And he doesn’t make me clean my feet when I come in from outside? Oh. And he lets me lick off the plates and clean out the pots and…
Me: Stop right there! Now I’m going to have to worry about the two of you the whole time I”m gone.
Beau: You could decide not to go…
Me: Not happening. My daughter needs me and my heart needs to see my grandchildren.
Beau: (sighing) Ok. Well… I guess I understand… But couldn’t you think about taking me with you? I love a road trip.
Me: And leave your dad all alone?
Beau: Hmmm…. well. You’ve got a point. He’d be lost without me.
Me: Of course he would.
Beau: And it would give us some really good male bonding time. You know. Watching hockey. Feet up on the coffee table. Eating fast food and not one salad the whole time you’re gone! Yeah. I think I’m gonna like this!
Sigh… I’m off to Vancouver for a couple of weeks to help my daughter and to see my grandchildren. (Caregivers are allowed to visit — and I am a very loving caregiver for my grandchildren!)
In the meantime, I’m going to do my best not to worry about what Beau and C.C. are going to get up to! Ha! They’re both incorrigible. All I’d need now would be for Beau’s buddy Rod W to announce he’s coming to visit too! Oh dear. Those thoughts just aren’t manageable!
And so I repeat to myself, ad nauseum… It will all be ok. It will all be ok. It will all be ok.
Beau: You know Louise, it will be what it is, right? You’re not in charge of the world.
Me: That’s what I’m worried about Beau. The world of Beau and C.C. alone together for two weeks without my being in charge. Oh my.
Beau: Repeat after me… It will all be ok. It will all be ok. It will all be ok.
Me: Cheeky dawg.
Beau: Nah… I’m just really good at pulling your strings.
Me: And I repeat… Cheeky dawg…