Sun’s Up!

Me: Beau. Why are you standing there peering down at me?

Beaumont: Sun’s up.

Me: So?

Beau: Why aren’t you?

Me: ‘Cause I want to lie in?

Beau: And what about me?

Me: What about you?

Beau: I have needs…

Me: Go talk to your dad.

Beau: He’s sleeping.

Me: And I wasn’t?

Beau: That’s twice.

Me: Twice what?

Beau: Now it’s three.

Me: Three what?

Beau: You’re doing it again Louise.

Me: Doing what?

Beau: That thing you tell me not to do. Answer a question with a question.

Me: What if I’m just looking for clarification?

Beau: I think you’re looking for a way to stall getting up, out of bed and taking me for a walk.

Me: (sigh) Why don’t you ever wake your dad up early?

Beau: Because he’s really good at ignoring me when I sit on the bed and peer down at him intently and kind of go all huffy with my breathing.

Me: Well… I’m ignoring you now.

Beau: Too late. I know you’re awake.

Me: I’m going back to sleep. Right now.

Beau: I wasn’t born yesterday Louise. I know when you’re faking it.

Me: Seriously Beau. I really need to sleep in this morning.

Beau: And I seriously need to get out to do my business.

Me: (sigh) Fine. But tomorrow, you wake up your dad first.

Beau: Who knows what tomorrow may bring Louise. Today, the sun’s up, there’s a light breeze blowin’ through the trees and the leaves are whispering ” Come walk with me…” Let’s go.

Me: Can I at least put on some clothes? I’m not sure I want to go out walking in my PJs.

Beau: Will you be snappy?

Me: Yes Beau.

Beau: Good. ‘Cause the day’s awaitin’ and my bladder’s a-achin’ and I’m tired of your fakin’… sleep.

Me: Very funny Beau. I’m not sure I’m up to your poetry this early in the morning.

Beau: I’m pretty sure you’re even less up to my makin’ a mess on the floor.

And so I get up and take him for an early morning walk and get dressed… It’s all just part of living with Beaumont the Shee…

Beau: The Magnificent. Right?

Me: Yes Beau. The Magnificent.

Beau: For this morning, you can call me Beau the Poet Dawg. That works too.

Me: So glad it does.

Beau: Louise. Louise. Louise. Your sarcasm is like those vegan dawg treats you try to pass-off as acceptable. They leave an awful aftertaste and are crummy.

Me: Ummmm….. did you make that up?

Beau: What can I say? I’m brilliant.

Me: And humble too.

Beau: There you go with the sarcasm again, Louise. Perhaps it’s time you walk your talk. Or at least, get me out for my morning walk.

Me: (putting on my shoes and grabbing his leash) Yes Beau.

Beau: Good girl.

And so he gets in the last word and I get up and I give up the idea of sleeping in and take him for a walk. Early.