Me: Beau. Why are you standing there peering down at me?
Beaumont: Sun’s up.
Beau: Why aren’t you?
Me: ‘Cause I want to lie in?
Beau: And what about me?
Me: What about you?
Beau: I have needs…
Me: Go talk to your dad.
Beau: He’s sleeping.
Me: And I wasn’t?
Beau: That’s twice.
Me: Twice what?
Beau: Now it’s three.
Me: Three what?
Beau: You’re doing it again Louise.
Me: Doing what?
Beau: That thing you tell me not to do. Answer a question with a question.
Me: What if I’m just looking for clarification?
Beau: I think you’re looking for a way to stall getting up, out of bed and taking me for a walk.
Me: (sigh) Why don’t you ever wake your dad up early?
Beau: Because he’s really good at ignoring me when I sit on the bed and peer down at him intently and kind of go all huffy with my breathing.
Me: Well… I’m ignoring you now.
Beau: Too late. I know you’re awake.
Me: I’m going back to sleep. Right now.
Beau: I wasn’t born yesterday Louise. I know when you’re faking it.
Me: Seriously Beau. I really need to sleep in this morning.
Beau: And I seriously need to get out to do my business.
Me: (sigh) Fine. But tomorrow, you wake up your dad first.
Beau: Who knows what tomorrow may bring Louise. Today, the sun’s up, there’s a light breeze blowin’ through the trees and the leaves are whispering ” Come walk with me…” Let’s go.
Me: Can I at least put on some clothes? I’m not sure I want to go out walking in my PJs.
Beau: Will you be snappy?
Me: Yes Beau.
Beau: Good. ‘Cause the day’s awaitin’ and my bladder’s a-achin’ and I’m tired of your fakin’… sleep.
Me: Very funny Beau. I’m not sure I’m up to your poetry this early in the morning.
Beau: I’m pretty sure you’re even less up to my makin’ a mess on the floor.
And so I get up and take him for an early morning walk and get dressed… It’s all just part of living with Beaumont the Shee…
Beau: The Magnificent. Right?
Me: Yes Beau. The Magnificent.
Beau: For this morning, you can call me Beau the Poet Dawg. That works too.
Me: So glad it does.
Beau: Louise. Louise. Louise. Your sarcasm is like those vegan dawg treats you try to pass-off as acceptable. They leave an awful aftertaste and are crummy.
Me: Ummmm….. did you make that up?
Beau: What can I say? I’m brilliant.
Me: And humble too.
Beau: There you go with the sarcasm again, Louise. Perhaps it’s time you walk your talk. Or at least, get me out for my morning walk.
Me: (putting on my shoes and grabbing his leash) Yes Beau.
Beau: Good girl.
And so he gets in the last word and I get up and I give up the idea of sleeping in and take him for a walk. Early.