Enough with the excuses

Beaumont: Louise. My fans are waiting.

Me: I’ve been busy.

Beau: I’ve been up since noon and you still haven’t gotten to my blogpost.

Me: I told you. I’ve been busy.

Beau: Enough with the excuses. I’m looking for results. And I’m not seeing any.

Me: Well… I worked for three hours this morning on a submission for a writing competition I’m entering. I took you to the park. I went for groceries. That’s a lot of results.

Beau: Not when the only result that counts is posting my blog.

Me: There’s more to life than your blog Beau.

Beau: Not on Sundays.

Me: (sigh) Well I’m writing it now.

Beau: It’s noon.

Me: The title isn’t “Sundays with Beaumont… in the morning”.

Beau: Ooooh… so now we’re getting sarcastic. I’ve told you before Louise,, sarcasm does not look good. As my buddy Rod would say, “You’re too old to be wearing sarcasm as a fashion statement.”

Me: Yeah? Well your buddy Rod is pretty old too!

Beau: Not as old as you.

Me: Can you dispense with the age-cracks and let me type.

Beau: Age-cracks. Good one. Especially when all the cracks are on your face.

Me: Beau! That’s not nice.

Beau: It wasn’t meant to be.

Me: Oh.

Beau: Just teasin’ ya’ Louise. You’re not that wrinkled…. though… now that I look at you in the light… is that a new line I see between your eyebrows?

Me: Not funny, Beau.

Beau: I wasn’t trying to be.

Me: Seriously? Is there really a new line between my eyebrows?

Beau: A gentleman never tells. Neither does a dawg.

Me: Beau! Can you please just let me get on with my typing and stop interfering with my train of thought.

Beau: It’s a slow train Louise. I’m sure you can catch up.

Me: Not funny Beau.

Beau: Yes it is. Now hurry up and finish. The train has reached the station and I need to have a nap.

I sigh loudly. Finish his last sentence and press publish.

Beau: Did you apologize to my fans for being late with its publication?

Me: No Beau. I did not.

Beau: Then I’ll have to do it for you.

Dear fans,

I’m sorry Louise’s train of thought was so slow this morning she couldn’t catch up until now. I’m sure with a good nap, a few licks from me and another nice long walk, she’ll be back on track, eager, and able to do better next Sunday.

Yours in dawggone devotion.