Enough with the excuses

Beaumont: Louise. My fans are waiting.

Me: I’ve been busy.

Beau: I’ve been up since noon and you still haven’t gotten to my blogpost.

Me: I told you. I’ve been busy.

Beau: Enough with the excuses. I’m looking for results. And I’m not seeing any.

Me: Well… I worked for three hours this morning on a submission for a writing competition I’m entering. I took you to the park. I went for groceries. That’s a lot of results.

Beau: Not when the only result that counts is posting my blog.

Me: There’s more to life than your blog Beau.

Beau: Not on Sundays.

Me: (sigh) Well I’m writing it now.

Beau: It’s noon.

Me: The title isn’t “Sundays with Beaumont… in the morning”.

Beau: Ooooh… so now we’re getting sarcastic. I’ve told you before Louise,, sarcasm does not look good. As my buddy Rod would say, “You’re too old to be wearing sarcasm as a fashion statement.”

Me: Yeah? Well your buddy Rod is pretty old too!

Beau: Not as old as you.

Me: Can you dispense with the age-cracks and let me type.

Beau: Age-cracks. Good one. Especially when all the cracks are on your face.

Me: Beau! That’s not nice.

Beau: It wasn’t meant to be.

Me: Oh.

Beau: Just teasin’ ya’ Louise. You’re not that wrinkled…. though… now that I look at you in the light… is that a new line I see between your eyebrows?

Me: Not funny, Beau.

Beau: I wasn’t trying to be.

Me: Seriously? Is there really a new line between my eyebrows?

Beau: A gentleman never tells. Neither does a dawg.

Me: Beau! Can you please just let me get on with my typing and stop interfering with my train of thought.

Beau: It’s a slow train Louise. I’m sure you can catch up.

Me: Not funny Beau.

Beau: Yes it is. Now hurry up and finish. The train has reached the station and I need to have a nap.

I sigh loudly. Finish his last sentence and press publish.

Beau: Did you apologize to my fans for being late with its publication?

Me: No Beau. I did not.

Beau: Then I’ll have to do it for you.

Dear fans,

I’m sorry Louise’s train of thought was so slow this morning she couldn’t catch up until now. I’m sure with a good nap, a few licks from me and another nice long walk, she’ll be back on track, eager, and able to do better next Sunday.

Yours in dawggone devotion.


12 thoughts on “Enough with the excuses

Add yours

  1. Hey Beaumont, please give the lady some slack. She is busy, busy, busy. I know for she is keeping my grey cells working overtime in a very good way.
    I am sure there may be a wee treat for you somewhere along the journey through today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My mom says her brain cells are tired too! You ladies gotta pace yourselves — but it sure is nice that you’re helpin’ her out — someone’s gotta! KNow what I mean? Thus far it’s been a bit lean in the treat department…. even though she’s been cookin’ and bakin’ again, not a single chocolate cookie for me or even any chicken stock or leftover turkey pie!. What’s with that?


  2. Woof, woof .. Frankie here pal .. would you believe it? .. my old bloke took for me for a walkie at 7.00am this morning !!
    It’s been in the mid thirties laterly … and the silly old bloke has finally worked it out that early morning walkie is the way to go over summer … yep pal .. our owners are definitely “Slow” … woof šŸ¶

    Liked by 1 person

  3. oh gosh Beau. I do love you, you know it. But face it, in the end you’re the dawg and Louise IS de facto and officially your owner, mum, keeper…. give her some slack PRETTY PLEASE! She means well…

    Liked by 1 person

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