Where’s my birthday cake?

Beaumont: Get up.

Me: Shhhh…. Can’t you see I’m sleeping?

Beau: Can’t you see I’m awake? And if I’m awake, you need to be too! Now get up!

Me: Beau. I took you out at 5 this morning when I first got up.

Beau: So? That was four and a half hours ago and it’s time to go to the park.

Me: It’s Sunday.

Beau: No kidding. Gosh. Is that why my blog’s called, “Sundays with Beaumont”?

Me: Don’t be sarcastic.

Beau: Don’t be lazy. Get up.

Me: Why don’t you wake your dad up?

Beau: ‘Cause he’s sleeping.

Me: So am I!

Beau: No you’re not. Your eyes are open. You’re talkin’. Heck, you even took my picture so I know you’re awake!

Me: What if you’re dreaming?

Beau: Nope. Stop stalling. You’re awake. Get up.

Me: (sigh) I went to bed late.

Beau: You mean you had too much wine.

Me: I mean, it was midnight when I got to bed and five when I got up to do the dishes. I’ve only been back in bed since 7.

Beau: And the tiniest violin in the world plays a sad song just for you.

Me: You’re being sarcastic again.

Beau: And you’re being lazy, still. I gotta go.

Me: Beau, pleaseee…. just this once can’t you give me a break?

Beau: Like you gave me a piece of Liseanne’s birthday cake last night?

Me: Oh. So that’s what this is about.

Beau: About you getting up and taking me to the park?

Me: No. About you not getting any birthday cake last night.

Beau: Well…. did I?

Me: You’re a dawg. Dawg’s don’t eat birthday cake.

Beau: You are delusional Louise. We love birthday cake. It’s just you hoomans don’t like to share.

Me: Birthday cake’s not good for dawgs.

Beau: Right. And it’s good for hoomans?

Me: Well… sometimes, we have to celebrate and a cake is a good way to do it.

Beau: So… let’s see if I’ve got this straight. Cake isn’t good for hoomans, nor dawgs, but it’s okay to have a piece to celebrate a special person, or occasion.

Me: That’s about right.

Beau: And do you agree that Liseanne is a special person in both our lives? She’s your daughter which makes her my sister. Right?

Me: Beau… I can see where this is going and it’s not going to work. I get that you love Liseanne but you’re still not getting any cake.

Beau: Wasn’t it my cousin, Wilma’s, birthday last week and didn’t I see her eating cake in that photo on Liseanne’s instagram page?

Me: Yes. But that was different.

Beau: Different how?

Me: Well… that was a special birthday cake for dawgs.

Beau: And didn’t Wilma come for dinner last night too? And wasn’t I really generous in sharing the bag of treats Uncle Jim brought with her?

Me: Yes Beau, you were. But….

Beau: Keep your but out of it Louise. If you knew there’d be two wondeful, amazing, not to mention cute, dawgs at your birthday party celebration for Liseanne, why wouldn’t you have made a ‘just for dawgs’ spcial birthday cake too?

Me: (cautiously. knowing this is not going to end in my favour) Because I’m lazy?

Beau: Exactly. So… To help you do better, I’m not going to let you fall back to sleep but I will let you take me to the park. Now.

Sigh… and so, no matter how much I want to sleep in, Beau wins. Again.