Beaumont: Why does Martha get the ball? It’s my ball.
Me: She runs faster Beau which means, she gets to it before you do.
Beau: And…
Me: And what?
Beau: And, why does that mean she gets the ball?
Me: Ummm…. at least she drops it so I can throw it again.
Beau: Are you suggesting by that comment that I don’t? Drop it, that is.
Me: Well Beau, if the truth fits, wear it.
Beau: If the truth fits only your story about what’s going on, why do I have to wear it?
Me: Oh. Ummm…. Well…. do you or don’t you drop the ball when asked?
Beau: Yes. Until I get tired and need a break. And, because I don’t actually speak hooman, I use DawgSpeak to let you know where I’m at.
Me: Oh… Ummmm… (pausing)
Beau: Do you or don’t you try to make me drop it even when my tongue is hanging out, I’m panting and I’m standing with my eyes pleading you to give me a break?
Me: Sometimes…?
Beau: And what is preventing you from just letting me take a break Louise?
Me: Martha stil wants to run and chase it?
Beau: So…. let me get this straight. At the risk of my good-health, you want me to make it possible for her to have what she wants.
Me: Oh. Well…. you don’t have to chase it when I throw it for her if you’re too tired Beau.
Beau: Am I or am I not, a dawg, Louise.
Me: That you are Beau. That you are.
Beau: So… like Pavlov’s dawgs, I have experienced classical conditioning. In my case, I have been conditioned to immediately chase the ball when you throw it.
Me: Beaumont! How do you know about classical conditioning?
Beau: What? You don’t think we dawgs are part of the great collective consciousness you often write about Louise? You think it comes with a Hoomans Only sign?
Me: Oh. Well…. I never really thought about beings beyond hoomans as part of the collective consciousness, Beau. That’s great food for thought.
Beau: Yeah? Well, chew on this for awhile Louise. As long as you train me to believe I have no right of refusal when it comes to chasing the ball, I’ll keep chasing it. And, seeing as my classical conditioning predetermines my response when you throw the ball, what do you plan on doing differently?
Me: Oh. Ummm…. can I have some time to think on that please Beau?
Beau: Yes, Louise. You can. But don’t take too long. Okay? You need to get Martha and me to the park, pronto! But just remember, the ball thrower determines how far and often I chase the ball.
Me: But… don’t you have some responsibility in it Beau? I mean, you’re the one who decides to go after it or not!
Beau: Classical hooman response, Louise. You forget, my classical conditioning was instilled by none other than…. YOU! (smiling sweetly and oh so innocently) So if you don’t want me to chase the ball, maybe you should think about ways to encourage me not to. Like, (giving me a BIG innocent smile) maybe if you brought a T-bone steak along like my buddy Rod always suggests you give me, I would be too busy munching on my treat to bother with the ball.
Dang! There is absolutely no winning with Beau!
Though how the heck he knows about classical conditioning I’ll never know!
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Sundays with Beaumont 
A ray of sunshine you are Beaumont on this absolutely ugly, miserable, cold, windy, rainy day in the Middle Kingdom aka Ontario.
Good on you to know about classical conditioning.
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And here at the eastern foot of the Rockies it’s undeterminate weather. Not warm. Not COLD. just in between, grey skies as Mother Nature decides what to do next. 🙂 Beau says, Bring it on! I got me a warm all natural furry coat! 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Well Beau you are male and that means you do not like to share at times and like many dwags you want to get the ball but when you are tired you don’t because it is too much effort just my thought and what do I know? Well not to much if we are honest because we all know I am just a woman…………….
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HAHA! Just a woman… that’s what makes you so special and amazing! And… knowledgeable about a lot too! 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Thank you
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