Me: Beaumont.
Beau: Yes Louise? (all innocent and sweet)
Me: Where’s you bootie?
Beau: What bootie?
Me: The one missing from your foot.
Beau: Oh. That bootie.
Me: Yes. Beau. That bootie. Where is it.
Beau: I don’t know. I’m not in charge of bootie watching.
Me But you are the one wearing them.
Beau: Actually Louise. On that foot, I’m not.
Me: Exactly! Where is it?
Beau: How would I know?
Me: Well… you were wearing it.
Beau: And now I’m not.
Me: Beauuuu…
Beau: Yes Louise? (smiling even more sweet and all innocent)
Me: Stop that!
Beau: Stop what Louise?
Me: You know exactly what I mean.
Beau: I do?
Me: Of course you do., So stop it.
Beau: Stop knowing what you mean, you mean?
Me: Arrrgggghhhh! Stop pretending you don’t know where you bootie is.
Beau: Ahhh… Well, there you’re mistaken Louise. I don’t have a clue where it is. One minute it was there, the next it was gone. Poof! Like a tiny sparkling iridescent snow fairy leapt out of a drift and cast a spell to make it vanish, Catch my drift?
Me: Don’t you catch my drift me. I know you know where it is. And anyway, There’s no such thing as a snow fairy. So tell me where your bootie is.
Beau: So, let me see if I get your drift Louise. You don’t believe in snow fairies but you do believe I know where the bootie is?
Me: Smart boy, Beau. You got it.
Beau: Ok. So, the answer to the missing bootie is, it’s adrift in a drift.
Me: Where?
Beau: Somewhere obviously.
Me: Then go find it.
Beau: Oh Louise. Your mind is drifting from fact to fantasy. The bootie has vanished to nowhere land and is adrift in a drift I do not know where. So finding it is a fantasy you hold that I cannot make come true. Catch my drift?
Me: (sighing. deeply,) You’re not going to let go of this adrift thing are you, Beau?
Beau: Good girl Louise. Now you’re catching my drift.
And he saunters off to sniff a drift and leave his mark. Sigh., He truly is incorrigible.
As to the missing bootie, it’s gone the way of the hundreds of balls and other sets of booties he manages to shake every time I put them on…. it’s in nowhere land.
Sundays with Beaumont 
Oh the bootie has gone to join all the lost socks in the washing machine
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Seems the bootie went to join the lost socks in the washing machine
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Ah Yes! The Bermuda Triangle of the Washing Machine Sock Stealer! 🙂
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I was just going to join Joanne by saying that bootie joined the union of unhappy single socks and gloves…. It’s winter, it happens! I only buy several pairs of the same socks as HH’s goal is to loose at least one but often 2 socks in one week. The never turn up but often they get badly joined with their partner when being assembled. Not that this happens to me but HE is sometimes helping me and then wears a dark blue and a black sock – and funnily somewhere in the Nirwana of socks there is just another same pair – only HE never would find them….
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You’ve very wise Kiki to buy only same socks. 🙂 I love that he wears a blue and black one — does he ever notice the discrepancy? 🙂 🙂 🙂
And finding socks is even harder for a man than finding the milk in front of him in the fridge! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Just sayin’!
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