Guilty!

Me: Beaumont, Have you been contacting your buddy Rod on the sly?

Beau: Not Guilty.

Me: How can you say Not Guilty when I know you contacted him! The evidence is irrefutable.

Beau: And I’m not trying to hide the fact I did it. So… nothing sly about it. So…. Not Guilty.

Me: So you did it and you’re confessing. Which in my book makes you Guilty.

Beau: Only if it’s a crime. And it’s not a crime to contact a friend. What is a crime Louise is how long you’ve been absent from posting my blog and upholding your commitments. Now that’s truly a crime.

Me: I’ve been busy.

Beau: True. Doesn’t change the facts though. You’ve missed several weeks here and need to ‘fess up.

Me: Ha! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Not Guilty.

Beau: (makes buzzer sound) NNYYEEHH! You are neither goose nor gander Louise. Nor am I. Fess up!

Me: But to use your logic Beau, how can I be guilty if a crime wasn’t committed?

Beau: Who says a crime wasn’t committed?

Me: (hesitant) Me?

Beau: And the prosecution rests Your Honour. The defendent is not in a position to judge her own behaviour. Only my fans can do that and my fans have spoken! GUILTY!

Me: (sigh) I’m not going to win this one, am I?

Beau: Do you ever?

Me: No. But I was hoping a new home at the edge of the ocean might change the outcome of our repartees.

Beau: The only thing that can possibly change the outcome in these here conversations Louise is if you turn up every Sunday, keep your commitments and POST MY BLOG!

Me: Ouch! You don’t have to yell Beau! I can hear just fine.

Beau: How am I supposed to know that? You have been ignoring my entreaties as well as the urgings of my fans for so long I thought maybe you’d gone deaf… Why else would you not turn up and keep you commitment here?

Me: (sigh) I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead. Guilty.

Beau: You were never ahead Louise. Never. But….!

Me: But…. Yes?

Beau: You won’t have to do any time if you recommit and stick to your Sunday commitment going forward. Deal?

Me: Can I add one caveat?

Beau: You are not in a position to be negotiating on the terms of the deal. Take it or all deals are off and you risk being bombarded with complaints, sarcastic comebacks and vitriolic repartee from my fans. Got it?

Me: Oh dear. Got it. Deal.

And so, a new chapter begins of Sundays with Beaumont on the shores of the Pacific. Different location. Same attitude. Dang! That dawg is good.

Beau: Ha! Was there ever any doubt?

Sigh. A girl can dream!