The T-Bone Treachery (And The Video Evidence!)

Well folks, put down your squeaky toys and pay attention. It seems Louise has finally cracked under the pressure of your constant, well-deserved nagging.

She did it. She finally coughed up the goods.

Her way, of course. Because you know Louise… her way is always the “best” way. (Spoiler alert: When premium cuts of beef are involved, her way is usually the worst way.)

I am here to file a formal protest.

The T-Bone was, technically, “served.” Or at least… part of it was. And by “part of it,” I mean a sacrificial, token sliver that clearly only existed so she could finally sleep at night. Why was it only a sliver, you ask? Because, apparently, the hooman felt she deserved to eat some of it!

HA! The audacity! The sheer, unmitigated gall of the woman who delayed my destiny for weeks! After years in the whining (I mean, making), I finally get my just desserts, but only the crust, apparently. It’s like being served the receipt after a five-course meal when you only got three!

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” they say. Well, I’m not begging, I’m the Top Dawg setting the terms of engagement. I’m currently wondering if Louise is begging for my forgiveness or desperately fishing for accolades from the fans who forced her hand. (That would be you peeps, so you have a voice in this whole sinister debacle of her shimmying out of truly turning up! Vote away! Is this steak justice?!)

Hmm… anyway. She technically came through, so I’ll drop the lawsuit for now. Especially since she did film proof! Yes, she got the action on camera! Clearly, she wanted evidence for the parole board.

But this is not over. Not by a long shot.

Now, we move on to Phase Two: Operation Full Steak. I need your help to convince her that next time, this supreme creature of unconditional love and unparalleled fluffiness deserves the WHOLE T-BONE. This Top Dawg doesn’t do sharing when it comes to his beef.

Don’t you agree? After all the joy, the slobbery kisses, and the many shoes I haven’t chewed (a heroic sacrifice, if you ask me), let it be known, (especially by her) I DESERVE THE ENTIRE STEAK! Don’t let her forget it.