The Empty Seat

Beau: So, let me get this straight, Louise. You booked two seats on the same flight. Both for you.

Me: Shush, Beau. You don’t have to tell everyone.

Beau: I’m simply trying to understand the logic. Were they side by side?

Me: No. Window seats. Across the aisle from each other.

Beau: Ah.

Me: What?

Beau: I was wondering if you wanted a view from both sides of the airplane.

Me: It was an accident, Beau.

Beau: I see. (Pause.) So you weren’t thinking about me.

Me: Why would I be?

Beau: Excellent question, Louise. One I think my readers would also like answered. Why weren’t you thinking about me?

Me: Because the second seat was a mistake.

Beau: We’ve established that. I’m asking why it had to remain one.

Me: What?

Beau: You had an empty seat. On an airplane. Going to Calgary. Where, if memory serves, several of my closest associates live.

Me: Your closest associates?

Beau: My buds, Louise. Try to keep up.

Me: Beau, I didn’t deliberately book you a seat.

Beau: Again. We’ve established the problem.

Me: What problem?

Beau: You had the perfect opportunity to take me on an adventure and YOU DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT ME.

Me: You don’t have to yell. I can hear you perfectly well.

Beau: I’m not convinced you can.

Me: And what exactly was I supposed to do?

Beau: Change the name on the ticket.

Me: To what?

Beau: Sir Beaumont of Sheepadoodle. Obviously.

Me: Not happening.

Beau: Why not?

Me: For one thing, the airline already cancelled the extra seat and gave me a full refund. A lovely man named Carlos helped me.

Beau: Carlos.

Me: Yes.

Beau: Did Carlos know about me?

Me: No.

Beau: Interesting.

Me: What’s interesting?

Beau: I’m just establishing the facts. Did you ask Carlos if the seat could be transferred to me?

Me: (stalling because I know exactly where this is going) No, Beau. I didn’t.

Beau: Did you mention that you had a highly experienced travelling companion available on short notice?

Me: Highly experienced? You’ve never been on an airplane.

Beau: I’ve had my head out the window at highway speed. How different can it be?

Me: Beau…

Beau: Louise.

Me: The seat has been refunded.

Beau: Yes. I’ve heard enough.

Me: Enough for what?

Beau: To reach a verdict.

Me: There’s a verdict now?

Beau: There was an empty seat. You were going to Calgary. I have buds in Calgary. You didn’t think of me. You didn’t mention me to Carlos. And now you’ve taken the money.

Me: I’ve taken the money?

Beau: I don’t like to use the word betrayal lightly, Louise.

Me: Oh, good grief.

Beau: An apology will suffice.

Me: I’m sorry I didn’t take you to Calgary.

Beau: Thank you. (He turns to leave.)

Me: Where are you going?

Beau: To call Carlos.

Me: Why?

Beau: Someone around here needs representation. He sounds like the right guy to start with.

Me: Start with?

Beau: Just gathering the facts, Louise. That’s all. (Pause.) For now.

And off he prances, wearing that smug look that sends my worry meter into overdrive.

As for how I managed to book two seats on the same flight? Don’t ask. My lawyer has advised me not to comment.

Beau: Ahhh, stay silent all you want, Louise. Not even a muzzle can keep the truth from coming out.

(He pauses and looks back.)

Detective Beau Tracey is on the case.