Me: Beaumont. Is there a reason you're sitting staring out the patio door? Beau: Is there a reason we're sitting inside on such a beautiful day? Me: It's not polite to answer a question with a question. Beau: It's not polite to ask questions you already know the answer to. Me: It's also bad grammar... Continue Reading →
Waiting for…
Me: Beaumont. What are you looking at? Beau: Not looking at. Watching for. Me: Oh. There's a difference? Beau: Oh you wordsmith you, Louise. Of course there's a difference. Me: Ok. I'll bite. What's the difference. Beau: Well... using the phrase "I'll bite" with a dawg is an example of you looking for trouble. Me:... Continue Reading →
Who? Me?
Me: Beaumont? Did you just do something to put yourself on Santa's naughty list? Beau: Who? Me? No. Never. Me: What's that between your paws? Beau: What? This ole' thing? I found it... Me: Found it? Beau: Yup. It was just lying there. Discarded. On the floor... Me: You mean under the Christmas tree. Beau:... Continue Reading →
We Need To Talk.
Beaumont: Louise, we need to talk. Me: Uh huh. About what? Beau: Like you don't know. Me: Ummm. Beau. No I don't. Beau: Yes you do. Me: (sighing) Honestly Beau. I don't. I can't read your mind. Beau: Really? And all this time I thought that's how you wrote these conversations. By reading my mind.... Continue Reading →
Wake Up! I Have To Goooooo…
I awaken (before dawn) to Beaumont sitting by my side of the bed, staring at me. And I mean staring! Beaumont: Grrrrrr..... Me: Use your words Beau. Beau: I'm a dawg. I don't have words. I have sounds. Me: Do we have to argue about this right now? I'm sleeping. Beau: You gotta wake-up. Me:... Continue Reading →
I Am Not A Christmas Tree.
Beaumont: Louise, can you spell unimpressed? Me: Of course. Why do you ask? Beau: Just checkin'. In case you had to look it up. Me: Why would I have to look it up? Beau: So you could name the way I'm feeling. Me: Because you're sitting amidst the Pointsettas like a Christmas Tree? I think... Continue Reading →
Lookin’ Good!
Me: Beaumont. Why are you scowling? Beau: So you notice? Well that's a start. Me: Of course I notice. I notice everything about you. Beau: Right. So didn't you notice I wasn't keen on going to the hairdressers? Me: Oh. Well. It was for your own good. Beau: Have you ever noticed how people use... Continue Reading →
I Always Get My Way
Me: Beau. If you get off me I'll get up and we can go out for your walkie. Beaumont: It's Sunday Louise. Can't we sleep in just a bit? Please? Me: You gotta go, Beau. Beau: Where? Me: Very funny. Outside. To do your business. Beau: What business? Me: Don't be indelicate. Beau: I'm not.... Continue Reading →
My Good Side
Beaumont: So... what do you think? Me: About what Beau? Beau: My photo. Silly. Me: It's lovely. I did take it you know. Beau: Yeah. I know. But I'm wondering whether you got my good profile or if the other side is better. Me: Ummm.. Does it matter.? You're handsome either side. Beau: Well of... Continue Reading →
A Dawg In Cat’s Ears.
Dawggone it people. She's gone and done it now! You'd a thunk that given she's laid up with a bad back she'd at least have had the good sense to leave me alone this Hallowe'en. But nope. Apparently, the act of dressing me in that silly cow suit she calls my winter coat was too... Continue Reading →
