Me: Beaumont. Don’t beg.
Beau: I’m not begging.
Me: Could have fooled me.
Beau: Well that’s not hard.
Me: Oh no you don’t. You’re not going to fool me by making this about how easy I am to fool.
Beau: I don’t have to. You just did it.
Me: Stop that.
Beau: Stop what?
Me: You know what.
Beau: Nope. I don’t.
Me: Avoiding the question.
Beau: I’m not avoiding anything. I just didn’t know there was a question.
Me: Oh. Right. Hmmm…. Now that you mention it, there wasn’t.
Beau: So who’s really avoiding the question?
Me: What’s the question?
Beau: I just asked it.
Me: Now I’m confused.
Beau: Are you never not confused?
Me: Please. Can’t we end this year on a more positive note?
Beau: Have you gone away again?
Me: That’s irrelevant.
Beau: Oh wow lady. How little you know. That is the crux of it all.
Me: All what?
Beau: Me having to beg others for food and attention and loving and walks and EVERYTHING.
Me: But we leave you with really nice people who love you.
Beau: Do you leave me?
Me: Yes. But…
Beau: You can’t but your way out of your negligence. You leave. I beg. You stay. I don’t need to beg. And, btw, you take me with you and everyone’s happy.
Me: We’ll bring you back something nice from Tofino.
Beau: Oh lady. Don’t get me started on the fact you’re going to my favourite place on earth without me. Ain’t nothing you can bring back when you should have been responsible enough to bring me with you.
Me: Well… your dad and I needed some time together. Just the two of us.
Beau: Am I or am I not part of this family?
Me: Well of course you are.
Beau: Right answer. Wrong move. You should have taken me with you.
Me: Next time?
Beau: Wrong answer. Wrong move. And don’t forget, two wrongs do not make a right.
Me: (sighing) There’s no way to win this one with you is there.
Beau: Yes. Take me with you.
Me: Well at least I got your blog up on Sunday!
Beau: You mean, at least you did your job.
Me: Okay. You win.
Beau: Ha! Take me with you and we’ll all win.
And the last word goes to… Beau. Of course.